Benmody Recovery Threat

Benmody · **Joined:** Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:31 pm **Posts:** 46

Hello everyone,

Welcome in my recovery threat, your advice and support is greatly appreciated, feel free to share whatever you think about me!

I will share my problem, and i'll try to be concise:

- 8 years ago I started a painful journey of porn addiction + MB
- My addiction is severe to the point that I use this addiction also to release life stresses such as in days of exams or finals. My happiest and worst days in the past 8 years never was p.free.
- 2 years ago I started to be aware of my addiction, I started to feel "Ok, I have a serious problem, and I have to quit"
- I failed to quit for more than a month during these whole years... !!! " I can't forget this month"
- The impact of this addiction on my life was very obvious to the point that I'm worried about my future which solely depends on my performance NOW! "these are my Knowledge building years"
- being addict to this habit is making me crazy!! the regret follows each relapse is quickly followed by another desire to watch again.. this is worse than tobacco or drug addiction!! "I Feel Out of Control"
- However, I just started the Recovery Workshops and I'm ready to GO..

Lesson 1 Exercises:

A.
- Commitment!!!! this is my weakest!! I thought this would be the easiest part of it.... It's not!
As I mentioned earlier, I started the tries to quit my addiction about 2 years ago, I felt out of control. Of course active commitment is the first and most important key for SUCCESS and permanent change.. Yesterday I read the first lesson and felt I was committed enough to start over....... however in the same night I relapsed, what does this mean? I wasn't committed enough!
- Guilt/Shame.... These two actually a primary factor for relapse, every time I relapse I feel guilty and shameful, however finally I started to say "this guilt and shame will obstruct my recovery whatsoever, so from now on I promised MySelf I will be positive, even if I relapsed... Cuz this guilt/shame does no good but increase my future relapse chances!
- Time.........about 2 years ago.. I started to change.. even though I wasn't committed to Change... but at least I had the feeling that am doing something that if I keep doing will surely destroying my life... Time is fundamental to Change.. I Now Believe that without givint MySelf time to Change.... Change is never gonna happen.... I can't count the times I went " OK, I swear this will be the last time" or " Enough, Am not gonna do it again" or " NEVER GONNA HAPPEN, I promise" I can't count the times I promised MySelf to quit.. every time I promise, I was serious about it. But short after few hours I can't manage!!
So... After the 8 years painful journey......... I believed that without planning am not gonna change! so here I am.

B. why you seek to permanently change your life?
1. I want to believe that I can be the perfect person I imagine.
2. I want to lead a healthy life, full of joy.
3. I want to be conscious, to live in the now.
4. I want to establish a life long self-confidence that is derived from my confident believe in God.
5. I want to achieve the goals I set, and to never procrastinate.
6. To be positive and spread positivity wherever I go.
7. To become a valuable person to my loved ones (family and friends)
8. I want to invest my time in things that will benefit me.
9. I want to value myself, and to become fully dependent on myself, instead of being submissive to others.
10. I want to be valuable in society, by becoming more socially involved.
11. I want to speak up for myself, and share my own thoughts, and let others respect me for who I am
12. I want to be organized and finish my duties in advance instead of waiting for the deadlines

C.
The Role this addiction played on my life was greatly destroying:
- I sleep most of the day, to the point my family thought I have medical illness and told me to check for my physical health!
- I feel tired most of the time
- I go late to my classes most of the time due to late awaking
- My grades are poor in a very important courses in my academic life :(
- I failed one course, which has never ever happened earlier in my life!
- I feel like I can't catch up with my studies
- I feel shameful/guilty most of the time
- I think about the pictures and movies I saw.... P. Library in my brain!
- I have weak social life.. my relationships with my own family became very superficial..
All these and more that I can't remember now was the results of my addiction.

Kenzo · **Posted:** Sat Nov 12, 2011 6:53 am

Hi Benmody

and welcome to RN

if you are here for the right reason (YOU) and you are committed and willing to put in the hard work required then you are in the right place for recovery
dont kid yourself that it will be easy or quick but it will be achieved your initial post is a good start

remember that coaches and mentors will drop in occasionally to provide support and you should be encouraged to read and contribute in the community forum

whist considering your lifes vision you should try to maske it broad encompassing the things that are important
in you and your life
dont skimp on it as it is important

good luck

Benmody · **Joined:** Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:31 pm **Posts:** 46

Kenzo,
Thanks for your reply.
I've edited my motivations' list for good.
I didn't write my vision now, it's important so I don't wanna write it in a hurry.
I appreciate your comment.

Yours,

Benmody · **Joined:** Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:31 pm **Posts:** 46

My Vision

My Self
To be a righteous person, a person with integrity, a person who is lovely, honest, flexible, and organized. To dream big, Think big, and Live big. To live in peace of mind. To overcome any challenge in my life with excellence. To find the career I always wanted, the career I'm studying for. And when reaching this goal, to keep learning, and help others. The career that helps the patients who are indeed need the care that is provided by my practice which is due to my knowledge. Therefore, I must have the perfect full knowledge in my field. I want to dedicate my life to provide the excellent care for those patients, to release the pain and suffer they have. To save their lives, and to do whatever it takes to achieve this goal. I want to work on this goal for the rest of my life. and never step back or give up.
I want to live independently, to have my own sufficient financial income.
I want to establish a beautiful family. That shares love and respect. I want to create a life-long relationship with my future wife. That is based on trust and love. To have a healthy sex life that fullfils my desires. To be honest with her. To share my emotions and feelings with her. To believe in her, be proud of her, and make her proud of me.
I want to keep healthy. To be physically fit.
Fun also is part of my vision, I want to have fun. To be friendly and fun. To enjoy my life to the fullest. To try new things, new adventures. To travel to the places I dream of. To go as far to the other side of the world. To enjoy other cultures. To be up to date. To enjoy every aspect of my life.

God
To have a strong faith. To praise God for the life, health and for all the welfare He gave me. To fear nothing but God. To trust in His Judgement. To strengthen the link with Him. To have a peace of mind and to pray in good and bad times.

Others
To be a person who do unto others as I would have them do unto me. To dedicate my life for helping my family, to be there for them, and never let them down. To share the happy and sad moments with them and to love them for what they are.
To be grateful for my parents who care about me. Who loved me and raise me up to the man I am. Who were with me in health and illness. I want to pay this debt back to them, and to make them proud of me.
To respect others. To help others. To forgive others. To look positively towards others. To look at others as a human beings with souls and feelings, not as bodies.

Kenzo · **Posted:** Wed Nov 16, 2011 3:46 pm

Hi Benmody :g:

your vision is well rounded and not altruistic,
it covers love, health, career, success, family. security
spirituality, happiness, charity, gratitude.....

could you have also added in honesty
and a healthy sex life
just a thought after all its your vision#

IMHO a good start my friend

Benmody · **Joined:** Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:31 pm **Posts:** 46

Hi Kenzo,
Thanks for your good feedback. I've added the missed part of my vision that u reminded me of.
However, I feel like I'm going too easy and slow on my recovery, don't u think?
This is due to my busy day!
I wake up for my college which starts at 8 a.m then stay till 4 p.m (most of the days) daily.
When I get home I take a nap till 7 p.m ( some times till the next day! This btw depends greatly on my addiction, I mean post MB state makes me sleep way longer. The longer duration I am sober the least rest I need) And from 7p.m to 2a.m goes very quick either in studying, or pretending that I'm studying!! (this last period of my day is the period I used to be vulnerable to P and MB)

What I want to say is well, this is my day and this is why I'm till now running behind the schedule

But I'll improve with time.

Note. I have been sober for like 5 days.. Good Start ;)

Benmody · **Joined:** Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:31 pm **Posts:** 46

Today, in my vulnerability hours I was setting on my laptop just chilling on youtube and facebook watching random videos and reading news and stuff, however I started to feel Like "what the heck I'm doing, lets enjoy the moment and watch some joyful 'p' stuff", I was about to relapse..!!
At that very critical moment I decided to shut off my lap top and go to my "this" thread and write about it. It wasn't easy though!
I believe if I am to obey to these obsessions everytime they come to me, I'm never gonna recover.
I didn't read yet about the urge control but I will start my own strategy from now on, in addition to the recovery plan offcourse.
It's not easy for me to just stop the urge, cause my addiction is a 7 year old one!! I will try to isolate it from my integrate self.

This was a day thought.. I'm still running behind the lesson scheduale, but I'll go through this challenge and I will proceed :)

Benmody · **Joined:** Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:31 pm **Posts:** 46

Lesson 3 Exercises:
A. Note: In the previous lesson, you were asked to write out your vision for the life that you want to live. If you have not yet completed this task, do so now, before beginning this exercise.

B. On your computer, extract the values from the vision you have created and list them. Your goal for this lesson is to create a single, comprehensive list that involves all of the primary ways that you derive stimulation from your life. Or, those areas that you want to derive stimulation from. Most lists will contain between 50-100 items. When you are done, post this list in your recovery thread.

C-1) Review the example values list for any additional values that you may want to add to your own list. List them.

1- Being committed
2- Living with integrity
3- Being lovely
4- Honesty
5- Organizing -
6- Flexibility
7- Dreaming big
8- Thinking big
9- Peace of mind
10- Overcoming
11- Excellence
12- Learning
13- Being dedicated
14- Save lives
15- Never give up
16- Living independently
17- Creating a family
18- Loving my family
19- Respect my family
20-Being trustful
21- Healthy Sexual life
22- Sharing my feelings
23- Caring for others' feelings
24- Being proud of myself
25- Physical health
26- Sexual health
27- Physical fitness
28- Having fun
29- Enjoying fun
30- Being friendly
31- Being fun
32- Trying new things
33- Curiosity
34- Adventure
35- Travelling
36- Knowledge Updating
37- Strengthening faith with God
38- Praising God
39- Trusting God
40- Praying to God
41- Having spiritual link with God
42- Do good to others
43- Being there for my family
44- Strengthening my relationship with my parents
45- Strengthening my relationship with my brothers
46- Strengthening my relationship with my sisters
47- Strengthening my relationship with my friends
48- Forgiveness
49- Thinking Positively
50- Helping others
51-Caring for others
52 -Living with compassion
53- Sharing my true self with the world around me
54-Being an inspiration to others
55-Showing appreciation towards other
56-Being charitable, giving
57-Developing intellectual depth
58-Expressing spirituality in my day-to-day life
59-Enhancing my spiritual awareness
60-Bringing joy to others
61-Providing quality in my work
62-Establishing competence in my field
63-Being respected as a professional by others
64-Being playful
65-Staying active
66-Being reliable
67-Humbleness
68-Sense of responsibility
69-Being considerate of others
70-Being considerate of myself
71-Taking care of myself
72-Being a role model for others
73-Living an exciting life
74-Being loved by others
75-Risk-taking (danger)
76-Competition
77-Being challenged; overcoming challenges
78-Creativity
79-Establishing financial freedom
80-Sexual intimacy
81-Sexual contact
82-Experiencing euphoria
83-Feeling sexually desired
84-Feeling appreciated
85-Feeling masculine
86-Feeling empowered
87-Passionate about life
88-World-wide recognition
89-Developing sustained friendships
90-Developing patience
91-Being known as reliable
92-Sharing my true self with the world around me
93-Wisdom
94-Control
95-Being a leader
96-Sacrificing for others
97-Intellectual growth, debate, communication
98-Realistic
99-Personal growth, development
100-Open-minded to the beliefs and values of others
101-Guiding, teaching, role modeling for my children

Benmody · **Joined:** Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:31 pm **Posts:** 46

Lesson 3 Exercise: Cont'd

2) Consider the 'dark side' of your decision-making. The compulsive behavior. The sexual behavior. Take some time to extract the values that went into those behaviors, and list themas well.
The values that went dark due to my compulsive behavior:
1- Losing honesty with myself and others
2- Break my integrity
3- Ruing my day schedule - No Organization
4- No flexibility
5- Diminished dreams
6- Diminished thinking
7- Mixed up mind- in a civil-war with my own mind!
8- Give up to challenges
9- Poor grades - No Excellence
10- Poor learning
11- Losing my goal
12- Always giving up
13- Living dependently on my parents
14- Losing true love toward my family
15- Disrespect toward my family
16- Being not trustful
17- Non healthy sexual life- addiction to porn and masturbation
18- over-reserved feelings (No sharing)
19- Careless about others
20- Shameful
21- Not physically fit
22- Not having fun most of the time
23- Not really friendly
24- Not curious
25- Not having enough spirit with God
26- Thinking negatively toward life

Benmody · **Joined:** Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:31 pm **Posts:** 46

To be honest, after I finished this exercise, I feel low. I feel like I have till now most of the negative points I mentioned above, and that I'm not living my life to the fullest. I just feel weak and vulnerable now.

It could be due to my soberness for a week till now? is it the euphoria stage just gone? and the emptiness stage start? It might be

Benmody · **Joined:** Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:31 pm **Posts:** 46

Okay, I'm back on the road to keep driving Ahead.

Yesterday I was frustrated and had doubts about my commitment, so I posted a new thread on the community forum:

Benmody wrote:

What if I had a slip during my recovery? Is this a bad sign?
I mean if my addiction was of daily pattern. Then as I started recovery it became weekly, is this a progress? Or I should cut it at once?
In lesson1- does allowing myself time to change means it's normal to have relapses?
Do relapses break my commitment? If I was so committed then I had a setback I will question my commitment!! And I'll feel like I'm lying to myself!
What do you think?

I'm being frustrated about my recurrent soberness then relapses! Even though I'm trying to not let guilt or sham sabotage my commitment.

To be honest, my addiction decreased when I joined here, I made it through the euphoria stage.. But when it was gone I wasn't ready to protect myself from further slips!
And there comes the depression and frustration!
I know I can make it all the way to end my addiction, but these urges are too strong!!

Any thoughts?

I got a beautiful feedback from Forwardthinker. Which was of great help to put me back on track and reassures me that although I slipped, I didn't relapse.. and there is a difference between the two. This however doesn't mean I should tolerate the urges.

forwardthinker wrote:

Hi Benmody,

All right, first...relax. :s:

Secondly, this is a fairly normal part of recovery. That doesn't mean it should be accepted or condoned by you, but it's exceedingly rare to make it all the way through a transition to health without some slips, because recovery is a learning process.

Quote:

What if I had a slip during my recovery? Is this a bad sign?

This depends. If it was a slip where you were caught off guard, faced with emotions or situations that you were unprepared for...then consider it a "learning" slip, by which I mean learn all you can from it so that it doesn't happen again. Again, such slips should not be tolerated or expected...but they can happen, and it is part of the process of learning how to manage your life.

If it was a slip where you consciously pre-planned to act out...or used deception/lying in any way (even if you were lying to yourself)...or if you thought "well, it's normal to slip every once in a while; nobody's perfect"...then that is NOT healthy and further thinking is needed.

You are in early recovery. So finding yourself in situations that you don't know how to manage is pretty normal; if you are on the right track, then you are experiencing a drastic shift in identity. Throughout this shift, there is usually much "stumbling and bumbling" along the way. Again, this doesn't mean it should be tolerated.

Think about learning how to ride a bike. There is a lot of falling involved initially. Most falls are because you lack the required skills to ride properly, but as you keep trying, it gets smoother and smoother. However, if you start consciously planning to fall...so your dad will take you home and you no longer have to try :s:

...you are not really learning or even attempting to learn how to ride, you're trying to get out of it.

Quote:

I mean if my addiction was of daily pattern. Then as I started recovery it became weekly, is this a progress? Or I should cut it at once?

You should cut it to "none." ANY compulsive acting out is unhealthy. Moving from daily acting out to weekly acting out is staying in your addiction. This is basically judging "success" by the frequency of which you act out. Does that sound healthy to you? Such an approach is still focusing on the behaviour, rather than the shift that needs to take place in your identity regarding how you manage your life.

Again, there will be a time when you will analyze your sexuality and determine for yourself what constitutes healthy and unhealthy sexual behaviour. But not now. At this point, abstain from ALL sexual acting out for the time being; it's necessary in order to achieve a separation of your identity from the addiction. Again, no acting out should be tolerated. Of course, don't base your recovery on this abstinence though...focus on developing your values and your personal satisfaction.

Quote:

Do relapses break my commitment? If I was so committed then I had a setback I will question my commitment!! And I'll feel like I'm lying to myself!

True relapses break your commitment. But at RN, we consider "relapse" differently than many other groups. True relapse is when you have achieved a measure of real recovery...then you go back to your compulsive patterns, either through complacency or conscious choice. It is more than just a single slip or even a series of slips. It's basically when you have chosen to "forget" what you've learned about managing your life in a healthy way and your entire mindset is back in active addiction.

So yes, true relapses do break your commitment. However, don't consider a "slip" at this point a "relapse." Just take the time to learn what you can from your slip...how you were feeling before, when you made the decision to act, why you chose to act in an unhealthy way...those are the things to take away from it.

But...don't let one slip make you feel like it will break your commitment. Avoid all or nothing thinking here...which, I know, is nearly impossible for the addictive mindset, but you must try. For example, it's easy after a slip to think, "I slipped...therefore I must not be committed to recovery." Or, "I failed this time...therefore I am a failure and always will be." None of this is true (though it can certainly feel true). It is much healthier to think, "All right, I messed up that time...now I must take responsibility and learn from this. What did I not know, what did I not do, this time that I must next time?" This makes a slip into a learning experience, rather than a devastation to your recovery or an excuse to go back to addiction.

Quote:

To be honest, my addiction decreased when I joined here, I made it through the euphoria stage.. But when it was gone I wasn't ready to protect myself from further slips!
And there comes the depression and frustration!
I know I can make it all the way to end my addiction, but these urges are too strong!!

At this point, be gentle with yourself. You are only beginning recovery. You are still learning to just understand the behaviour...but that is really just the first step. The urges are too strong at this point because you still have much to learn about emotions, emotional maturity, and decision-making. So again, don't tolerate slips...but also don't use a slip occurring to sabotage your recovery and think that you're "back to square one."

Again, this is common when you get past the euphoria stage. So just keep driving ahead, working the lessons, trying to use your values on a daily basis to manage your life, and moving forward trying to change with sincerity.

:g:

FT

Benmody · **Joined:** Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:31 pm **Posts:** 46

Lesson 4 Exercises:
A. In the previous exercise, you identified a list of the majority of your practical and universal values. Now, prioritize this list. This should take you about fifteen minutes at the most. If it is taking you longer than that, you are thinking too deeply. The deep thought was in constructing your vision and extracting the values...this is the 'easy part'. Simply identify an initial order of prioritization that 'feels right' to you.

Take a snapshot of where these values lay in terms of helping you to achieve your vision. DO NOT worry if a particular value is a few items above or below another (for instance, don't worry about choosing between 'Strengthening My Role as a Father to My Son' and 'Strengthening My Role as a Father to My Daughter'). You should be looking for a general sense of prioritization--not an exact representation. Remember that values change. Priorities change. And so, to try to imagine all possible situations for which prioritization may apply would paralyze you. So don't. Think only in the current moment--and in relation to what you believe would be the most direct path to building that vision in your day-to-day life.

B. When you have completed this priority list, post it into your Recovery Thread.

1- Control
2- Commitment
3- Strengthening my relationship with God
4- Being challenged/ overcome challenges
5-Sense of responsibility
6- Staying active
7- Feeling empowered
8- Passionate about life
9- Living with integrity
10- Organization
11- Strengthening my relationship with my parents/brothers/sisters
12- Personal growth, development
13- Sharing my true self with the world around me
14- Being Confident
15- Healthy sexual life
16- Developing intellectual depth
17- Bringing joy to others

Lesson 5 Exercises:
A. In previous exercises, you identified and prioritized a list of your personal values. This list should represent those aspects of your life that you want to use to define who you are and how you will be managing your life. Take a moment to look over that list with a fresh view. As you read through it, ask yourself, "Does this reflect the person that I am committing myself to becoming?" If so, continue on; if not, add those missing values that are congruent with the life that you want to lead and remove those values which are not.

B. Consider two or three major decisions that you have made in your life (i.e. marriage, career, getting a dog, etc.). Examine the values involved in the decision-making process that went into your options. Consider having to make those decisions today. Does your current prioritized values list reflect the choices that you would make? If so, then you have done a good job of creating a practical values list. If not, then you may still be leaning more towards 'idealistic values' than practical ones. You want...no, you NEED this list to function on a practical level. Continue refining it until it does.

C. Finally, examine the list one more time for its realism. Do this by briefly grasping each value and thinking about the role that it would play in your day-to-day life. This does not mean that you must use the particular value on a daily basis, only that it can serve as a realistic, functional part of the identity that you are building. For instance, if I choose 'spirituality' as a top priority for myself, but in reality I am only listing that value out of fear and/or social acceptance...then my list is not real. It is not practical. On the other hand, if I list 'Strengthening my relationship with my brother'--whom I have not had any contact with in twenty years and with whom I would like to rebuild a connection with...then that is practical. Also, remember to examine the values that are not necessarily socially accepted/idealized. This is critical. If you build a life based on what others expect from you, you will fail in your transition. If you build a life based on a mastery of what it is you truly value, then you will succeed. So examine values such as 'sexual gratification', 'being sexually adventurous', 'feeling sexually desired', 'being promiscuous', etc. If these are important to you, then prioritize them within your list. Leave them out because they don't 'sound right' and you are dooming yourself to that dual-identity that pervades sexual addiction.

D. Take the top fifteen values that you have currently listed and post them in your Recovery Thread. To be successful in recovery, you will need to learn to derive about 75% of your life's meaning and fulfillment from these values across any given week or so. It is okay if you are not currently doing this, because that is what the following two lessons are for: to help you develop this ability over the coming months.

DONE

Benmody · **Joined:** Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:31 pm **Posts:** 46

Lesson 6 Exercise:
A. Of the top fifteen values on your Prioritized Values List, develop Proactive Action Plans for two or three of the more simple ones. For instance, "Strengthening your relationship with your wife" is complex. "Developing a closer bond with 'Chewie', your dog" (probably) isn't. For now, choose 'Chewie'. Post these plans into your recovery thread.

Note that your goal here is not to map out perfection. You only need to map out the next few steps in the developmental process of strengthening and/or maintaining this value (if it is already at full strength).

- I will apply the Proactive Action Plan on (Control) and (Commitment) and (Overcoming Challenges) as my top priority values.
- I will do so by applying these Top priorities practically on one of my most challenging issues: STUDYING. and to be more accurate: preparing for the upcoming exam next week.
- As a matter of fact, this issue cost me a lot in my earlier years at college, it became a nightmare. The functional impairment it made is parallel to that of my addiction. These two issues were the two made me seek help, they made me seek RN.

OKAY

I have 10 days left to my major exam, so my GOAL is to finalize, review, and fully comprehend the material in 10 days... How am I going to do this?

Universal values:

1- I will CONTROL myself, not allowing myself to put off studying..

2- I will COMMIT myself to change my attitude toward studying.
This means making a TRUE decision that is strong enough to let me take STUDYING ACTION

3- I will OVERCOME this CHALLENGE by not allowing boredom or guilt to sabotage my commitment, and by sticking to it.. Till I ACHIEVE it.

I have to go now… and will be back soon to write my practical Proactive Action Plan.. :)

Benmody · **Joined:** Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:31 pm **Posts:** 46

Exercise 6 cont'd:

1- Control:
- To control my daily actions as following:
a) By waking up early in the morning and studying (if weekend) till noon, then take a break for one hour. Afternoon, go back and complete what I stopped at.
b) The 24 hours of a day in the next 10 days should be like this: 8 hours night sleep, 8 hours at college, 1 hour nap, 6 hours at least studying, and 1 hour of fun.
c) At the weeknds my studying hours to be at least 12 hours a day.
- To control my emotions by not allowing my desires (such as fun, addiction, etc.) to take control.
- To be in the present while studying, to be interested in what I'm reading and to comprehend it fully.

2- Commitment:
- I am committed to take action of what I menstioned under (1)
- I am committed by my full powers and energy to accomplish this proactive action studying plan.

3- Overcoming Challenges:
- I will overcome this challenge by my commitment and control
- I'm not going to let myself or anybody to stand in the way of accomplishing this action plan.

healing_mind · **Joined:** Tue Apr 26, 2011 11:50 am **Posts:** 31

Ben, I stumbled on your thread and cant help but notice the similarity between your condition and mine.The things that you have mentioned you have been going through I can relate to that so well and a little more.

I looked at your action plans, and wanna make this suggestion-

Your action plan says -

Quote:

a) By waking up early in the morning and studying (if weekend) till noon, then take a break for one hour. Afternoon, go back and complete what I stopped at.
b) The 24 hours of a day in the next 10 days should be like this: 8 hours night sleep, 8 hours at college, 1 hour nap, 6 hours at least studying, and 1 hour of fun.

I would suggest make smaller achievable goals. If you are not used to study for one hour a day, chances are that you will fail in your 6 hour goal after an attempt or two. The failure will fuel your addiction.
Don't go overboard in planning your day to every hour, it will rarely work out as planned. Plan it around your values.As long as you study, exercise, learn and remain addiction free, judge your day as well lived.

Happy Living !!!

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