Recovery Nation

Lesson 1 Exercises:
A. Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery are:
1) actively committing yourself to change - Tried doing recovery nation a couple years ago. Realized I wasn't quite there, Now I'm at the wanting stage of healing myself. I've finally had enough!
2) not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change - I battle this demon everyday, I have gotten so much better in the past year, actually have talked myself out of feeling this way until recently... relapsed, my friend died, the shame and guilt inner talk has come back. I want it gone. I want to feel happy.
3) allowing yourself time to change. - I'm dedicated. This will be my priority to heal myself. It's the most important thing I can do.
 
B. Beyond an active commitment to change, another important factor in determining your ultimate success is your motivation. Look deep inside and list ten to fifteen reasons why you seek to permanently change your life. Don't stop at three or four obvious ones, really examine your life and what is important to you.  List these in your recovery thread.  

Don't want to be alone
Want to feel healthy
Want to live
Want the inner shame and guilt talk in my head to go away
Want to be happy, want to get out of bed
Want to make healthy decisions
Want to make others happy around me
I'm tired of feeling embarrassed about my actions
Want to stop feeling sad and crying, wishing there was something I could do different
Want to forgive myself And others

C. Child/picture exercise - I've done this exercise countless of times, in fact I keep pictures of me as a little girl in my bedroom & on my fridge. I cry for her all the time. She missed out on so much love, attention and emotional connection. She didn't know, she was just an innocent little girl trying to gain acceptance from her family. She was trying to survive. She didn't know how to act. She only knew sadness and anger. It's not her fault, she was never taught the tools of how to be an emotionally secure adult. She was never taught about respecting her boundaries. Shes had to learn all on her own, she had to in order to get by. She had to hide and ignore how she felt because she knew it didn't matter to anyone. but She is a survivor. she's beautiful and lovable. and I want the best for her.

Hi Sun4fun
and welcome to RN



as you progress along the path of recovery you will discover that you have choices and always have had, you are making the right choice now working through the RN workshop
if you really do want to improve your life and to recover from your addiction then you are at a good place to make that wish reality
Commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting and reading
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination


so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend but please do be guarded against making excuses for your behaviors, remember we addicts become very good ay making excuses and for failing to follow a healthy path

your reasons for change are generally solid as they are positive and about you
remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
stay healthy keep safe
Kenzo

Thank you for your feedback. Appreciate your thoughts and motivation. My goal is to be here for the long haul :)

Building Foundation for change

Take pride in who you are and in where you're going, rather than focusing on the shame of where you've been.

You are devoting to rebuild the core of who you are--building a life based on an evolving value system.

The biggest demons you will face will not be the social barriers placed in front of you, but the personal ones that exist within you.

Goal is to empower you to take control of the rest of your life. To take responsibility for who you are.

You haven't learned how to live your life in a healthy way. It has been your life skill deficiencies that have brought on 'shortcuts' to manage your emotions. This has brought on the addiction. The lack of a healthy life management skills that has triggered the addiction.

A healthy life has a successful vision. This brings self confidence, knowledge, and provides the ability to take control of your life. Cause you know what your life is about. You know what your life stands for. How you want to be remembered.

Notes from Vision - Lesson 2

Learn to derive value from your life. In a healthy life, pursuing your vision with passion will give way to developing true depth in your life. When that happens, you will no longer be vulnerable to emotional instability. This depth will not replace your passion, it will merely supersede it as the primary force in maintaining your identity.

Mortality. Not the fear of dying, but the fear of accepting that they are living a finite life. Because they cannot accept this, they tend to hold desperately to all options, to all potential. They don't want to limit themselves because that would mean closing off a part of themselves forever.

My vision (in no particular order), it’s ok it will definitely be altered :)

To be remembered as treating people well. That when they think about me, I add value to their life. To be kind, gentle, and considerate. Always thinking about others, how they are doing, making them feel good, talk positively, understanding their needs and wants.

To recognize beauty. To put my faith and trust in others. Always assume people’s intentions are good.

To be happy. To be optimistic, positive, and motivating. To want to get out of bed in the morning.

To be dependable and reliable; that my actions and words are one in the same. When I commit to something, I do it. And it’s ok to say no when I can’t commit.

To be calm, rational, soothing. To listen. To not rush to judgment. To be flexible.

To feel beautiful - physically fit, upkeep with personal hygiene, always putting a smile on my face.

To put trust and faith in myself. To make healthy decisions. To have the courage to express how I feel and ask when I need something.

Share a deep connection and intimate relationship with a man – understand his deepest fears, where I am not selfish, think about his needs, want to make him happy, share affection, attachment, emotional and personal support, care for them, share my secrets. To be vulnerableTo have a partner for life.

To be seen as a loving, caring, and nurturing wife and mother (if/when that happens).

To learn something new every day; deepen my knowledge of the world and others.

Hi Sun4fun
a little feedback on your vision
a very good start, but you are correct it is only a start and it will change you should add to it as the recovery unfolds
it is quite broad and covers many aspects of "most" lives
I only see spirituality and security as missing, but therein lies my slight concerns
it is very general and could be more specific



what specifically would promote the positive optimistic happiness?





as you progress you will do this but how do you think you will achieve this right now, what will it take?



how do you feel now and what are your aspirations?

just a few thoughts use them or bin them its your call because its your recovery
good start well done

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
stay healthy keep safe
Kenzo