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PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:58 am 

Joined: Mon May 29, 2017 6:43 am
Posts: 12
A) After a few false starts and 'should have..would have..could have's ...I'm finally underway on at least will be a very thorough reconnaisance. I've decided that morning coffee along with 20-30 min here is a good way to structure this although more inclined to introspective thought late at night...

I am not entirely sure that one can just 'heal' What is often referred to as healing is, in fact, potentially altering your essential characteristics and the record of that isn't too promising. As someone dealing with several concurrent issues, I wonder how much is striving to climb to some arbitrary definition or realizing that perhaps there are fundamental characteristics that aren't so 'fundamental'

After-all, one's persons 'normal' is another's deviance.

Often the first response to this musing is this is the addict speaking. They are minimizing their problems and playing a game of relativism.
Perhaps that is correct after-all we all try to reconcile our behaviours by continually re-defining 'normal', ensuring it remains a relative term.

What must be considered in my particular case is the effect this has had on my partner to which I am very upset by. This is someone to whom, I would never let any harm befall, someone who's been far more than just patient. She's done her homework and continues to do so, and for this understanding, I am very grateful.
I've always stated that a relationship is a house of compromises so any redefining of 'normal' must be biased towards and recognize her needs and pain and help to facilitate her healing and healing of our relationship.

Normal cannot be just my definition.

It's big mountain ahead and there are many valleys and passes by which less arduous passage can be made. I'll have to first survey the terrain and see if the tougher route is, indeed, possible.

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