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|Author:||Zsazsadarling [ Tue Aug 29, 2017 10:14 pm ]|
|Post subject:||Lesson 25|
Lesson 25 Exercise:
I. Develop your own compulsive ritual. Make this relatively simple. List the primary elements in a similar fashion as exampled above in Compulsive Ritual: Exhibitionism. Post this ritual and its elements in your recovery thread.
-trigger: feeling good, day off, nice weather, having time to "get away with" not being productive
-think about how/where to get alcohol
-acquire alcohol (steal or buy)
-take imovane to "go to bed" but it now enhances high
-occasionally, in this sedated, drunken state, I have gone out to bars to get more alcohol after having run out and end up partying in a black out. Almost always end up getting a ride home or drinking with some man I don't know. Until now, only once has anything sexual happened. I have been very lucky. I have put myself in a date rape situation at least 10 times in the last 2 years. This is a new thing, and one that I am terrified of when I wake up. I have been very lucky. Every man has been kind.
-if I don't go out, I black out due to imovane, and pass out. Sometimes in my clothes if I am very drunk
-wake up hungover and filled with anxiety.
-think about how I feel better when I don't do this.
-how it is affecting my intelligence and wit and creativity
-how it is affecting my looks and health
-how it is affecting my finances
-how it stops me from completing projects on time
-how my career has sputtered to a stop while everyone excels around me
-how this has driven the last 2 men I loved away from me, and lost me the respect and love of many friends in the last few years.
-vow to change/grow into the person I want to be, move away from this failure.
This usually lasts a week.
Then there's another sunny day, or "fun" opportunity with co-workers or friends
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