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 Post subject: Re: The Bridge
PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 4:32 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2018 1:43 am
Posts: 38
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Last edited by Mrbridges on Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bridge
PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 4:48 am 
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Last edited by Mrbridges on Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bridge
PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:00 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3899
Location: UK
Hello MrB
Quote:
I believe masturbation is a mix of both healthy and unhealthy sexual behavior in me.


For sure masturbation can be healthy
but when used as a coping mechanism and done compulsively as is usual in sex addiction then it is unhealthy and unhelpful

I believe that you will benefit from your decision
I did
I still refrain and no harm has befallen me
my balls have not dropped off

good decision well done you :g: :g:

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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 Post subject: Re: The Bridge
PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 9:18 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2018 1:43 am
Posts: 38
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Last edited by Mrbridges on Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bridge
PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 1:11 am 
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Last edited by Mrbridges on Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bridge
PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2018 1:23 am 
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Last edited by Mrbridges on Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bridge
PostPosted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 8:23 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3899
Location: UK
Hi Mr B
I expect that you will not change your mind and it is not my position to ask you to
however as is my wont
when you say
Quote:
I think about what you write deeply,


this prompts for one last final time
the question
How would she respond to

Quote:
I would not say my wife doesn't know me.

if she did find out / know?

I am not looking for an answer, simply putting to you to think about knowing that you have thought long and hard already, but what does thinking again cost?

now onwards with your journey

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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 Post subject: Re: The Bridge
PostPosted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 2:43 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2018 1:43 am
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Last edited by Mrbridges on Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bridge
PostPosted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 4:01 am 
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Last edited by Mrbridges on Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bridge
PostPosted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 8:57 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3899
Location: UK
Hi B
you asked
Quote:
Can I be happy and satisfied sexually with having sex 2-3 times a week with my wife.


that raises further questions that perhaps you should consider and evaluate

IMO you are very serious about ridding yourself of sex addiction
You know where you are , you know where you want to be, but you are not sure how to get there

this is normal and that is why you are here on RN
I said that you know where you want to be and am sure that this is the case but wonder if you know what you want to have with you when you get there?

Recovery is a personal journey and is about you but you seem to have all of your focus on you and you alone (I could be wrong so dont take offence just consider)

If the answer to
Quote:
Can I be happy and satisfied sexually with having sex 2-3 times a week with my wife

is no or even I dont know then what next?

You said that your wife knows you very well but does not know that you were willing to risk all she held and holds close, just for you, OK addicts do this and I am confident that you will hold yourself to this, unless you answer your own question in the negative, what then?

Have you told her that you have decided not to masturbate and why?

Hope that this does not come over as banging on about the same topic but you did say that going forwards honesty is paramount so is it about you or is it about you and your SO?
remember that she has values and boundaries that need to be honoured

good luck stay healthy

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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 Post subject: Re: The Bridge
PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 2:21 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2018 1:43 am
Posts: 38
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Last edited by Mrbridges on Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bridge
PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 2:27 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2018 1:43 am
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Last edited by Mrbridges on Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bridge
PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 5:29 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3899
Location: UK
Hi B

Quote:
There is more intimacy, more desire, more openness.

:g: :g: :g: :g: :g: :g:

Quote:
keep asking myself what is the next step.


and taking it without reservation or regret

you will make it because you know it is right and you really do want to

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Bridge
PostPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 8:52 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2018 1:43 am
Posts: 38
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Last edited by Mrbridges on Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bridge
PostPosted: Thu Feb 22, 2018 2:05 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2018 1:43 am
Posts: 38
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Last edited by Mrbridges on Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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