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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 4:54 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2011 2:49 pm
Posts: 1626
Hopefully someone laughed at the title of this topic. :s:

I was poking around the forum today, and found a link to this, a page that doesn't really seem to be linked anywhere on the site but exists nonetheless. So I decided to resurrect it! It's a graph made by CoachJon about the general process of a healthy recovery and details about each step of the way.

CoachCheryl, if you read this, perhaps we could fix the graphic and add this to the Additional Lessons section, so that it's easier to find? Or it could also be added to one of the lessons in the workshop...I think it would make sense almost as "Lesson 13A" since it has to do with the stages of recovery (although it's more detailed). Anyways, hope this helps someone! :g:

http://www.recoverynation.com/recovery/expectations.htm

Boundless

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"If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where do you expect to find it?" - Dogen

"Be a lamp unto yourself." - Buddha

"The obstacle is the path."


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 11:47 am 
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Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:17 pm
Posts: 166
Hi Coach B,
Thanks for sharing this, I see many aspects of my recovery efforts in this chart. I find it at times amazing and others frustrating at how much material and the different ways of looking at recovery that Coach Jon and others have put into this site. It seems like a valuable approach to see the progression of a typical recovery but for some reason it's been deleted from the lessons but left laying around in the background. It seems the site needs some additional cohesiveness put into it so these gems can be used in the future.
As always, thanks for efforts,
skrelon

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"Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway." --Mother Teresa


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2012 1:59 pm 
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Posts: 1626
Bump.

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"If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where do you expect to find it?" - Dogen

"Be a lamp unto yourself." - Buddha

"The obstacle is the path."


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 7:30 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2011 2:49 pm
Posts: 1626
Just wanted to bump this again, as I found this in an unrelated post for Jon's Gems (actually a post directed at partners) and thought it was directly applicable. There are of course many variants to this path, but I think most people go through most of these steps at some point. Similarly, in regards to secrets, just to clarify...even though this notes that secrets may be maintained...that in no way means this is a good thing. Just because something is common, doesn't mean it's good or the road one must take. The earlier someone lets go of all their secrets, the better.

CoachJon wrote:
The Common Healthy Recovery Path

There are several variations, but here are the most common elements:

• A sincere commitment is made to end the addiction.

• A common obstacle: a destructive belief is created (based on their egocentricity) that is something along the lines of, “I am unique, so I can move forward picking and choosing what areas of recovery I will apply to my life.” A common variation to this is, “I don’t want to take responsibility for my recovery. I want someone else to guide me out of the mess that I’m in.”

• An intellectual and/or guarded approach to recovery is undertaken, with a part of the addiction kept hidden or protected. This is often out of fear of failure, fear of vulnerability, and/or fear of loss.

• Early recovery efforts involve what is comfortable and/or stimulating to them

• An eventual realization occurs that “recovery” requires more than behavioral management; it requires the rebuilding of a healthy life as well

• A dual-front approach to recovery begins where the person is actively learning about their addiction in a functional, practical way, and developing clarity in the life they want to live

• An emotional connection is made to the recovery process as a personal, individual pursuit. There is a desire to permanently end the addiction and transition to a new phase in one’s life.

• A personal, private realization of the shortcomings of their recovery to date is made—what they have and haven’t done fully. The lies that are still floating around. The secrets that remain. Usually, this is followed by the decision to keep these shortcomings hidden, but with a personal commitment to “make up for them” somehow, with an underlying hope that they will never come to light.

• They begin to develop experience and confidence in their addiction management skills

• They find comfort and relief in learning to manage their life through their values

• The role addiction plays in their life detaches from their identity and they no longer see themselves as “addicted.”

• A shift to a values-based identity takes place, and they begin to see themselves as healthy—with addiction now viewed as an external threat to that health and their newfound identity. If there were previously any remaining secrets, they would now openly and honestly share them, no matter the consequences.

• A shift from “managing their addiction” to “managing their life” takes place

• They begin to distance themselves from “addiction recovery” and shift their efforts towards “life building.”

• Experience and confidence in “managing their life” is developed

• Additional discovery, refinement, and mastery takes place with life skills

• Health monitoring is ingrained as a staple life-management skill

• Barring any significantly stressful or devastating life events that put them at risk of relapse, they live the rest of their life relatively healthy, with a confidence and fulfillment they never before experienced


Boundless

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"If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where do you expect to find it?" - Dogen

"Be a lamp unto yourself." - Buddha

"The obstacle is the path."


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 3:50 am 
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Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:56 pm
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(deleted by author)


Last edited by Here4health on Sun Mar 31, 2013 8:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 12:51 pm 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2010 8:54 am
Posts: 1377
HI CB

Very good indeed. Thanks for posting. I think sometimes we (I) talk about recovery in terms of challenge, difficulty and commitment.

Of course it takes all of those things.

But recovery makes your life easier, more efficient, and happier. None of us would come here, even if to have a glance, if we didnt need some help. On the surface this is with sexual addiction and compulsion. But the roots are deeper, beneath the surface.

Recovery helps us to stop the addictinos that suck out our love, energy, time, compassion, self-esteem and empathy. This creates a space for other kinds of thinking, feeling and behaviour.

This post describes them brilliantly.

Shaw


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2014 9:12 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2011 2:49 pm
Posts: 1626
Bump.

_________________
"If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where do you expect to find it?" - Dogen

"Be a lamp unto yourself." - Buddha

"The obstacle is the path."


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