Recovery Nation

As of late, I have become somewhat lax in my boundaries regarding casual nudity in films, and I need to re-focus my efforts. I have as of late, begun to say to myself if a film is not geared towards titillation or sexual content and innuendo, the occasional flash of nudity is not a problem. While this may be something I cannot control in the theaters, as having a choice once I am in the theater seat, I certainly have a choice to stop watching and re-evaluate my choices and action plan with streaming video services.

My wife pointed out to me where several movies have this content, I had not made any conscious, overt decision making actions, which are a part of what I am supposed to do, even to the point of including her in my thought process.

I am to the point in my own recovery I can handle the situation of some nudity in a feature film where it was unexpected. I have several ways of dealing with that. However, I need to be more diligent in taking control when I can. One such means I can use is the Internet to find why a film is rated the way it is. That way, I can have the knowledge ahead of time and avoid any problems with films with which I have unlimited access.

Hi Coach,

Thought about your post while at the cinema this weekend. Saw an interesting looking film listed online so decided to book tickets without researching it any further to keep the experience fresh and not get put off by negative reviews or spoilers.

Didn't look like a film that would have any nudity and when I got there its U classification confirmed it was suitable for children too. So wasn't prepared for a long scene of a guy taking a shower with full nudity near the start. It was totally non sexual and a natural part of showing how this person lived but it caught me off guard (seeing any kind of nudity, male or female was such a big part of my previous rituals) and I could feel myself tensing up a bit. I didn't feel aroused or excited so the anxiety I experienced came more from not being sure what a healthy response might be.

I ended up cycling between half closing my eyes to blur my vision, looking at different parts of the scene and just trying to watch it normally for what it was, someone taking a shower. I regained emotional balance pretty quickly but it did get me wondering what a healthy response will be for me when it comes to seeing nudity in films in the months and years ahead. I don't want to ever be prudish or reactionary and seeing nudity in films and exhibitions is something I'd like to be able to navigate in a healthy way.

The film critic Mark Kermode is always banging on about how good the British Board of Film Classification Website is and how useful and thorough their film descriptions are. Sure enough I just searched for this obscure film thinking it wouldn't be listed and it goes on to give full details of the exact scene, its context and why they classified it as they did. Had I checked that first I would have been able to make a better judgement about whether I felt this was a film that would be healthy for me at this point. What I might have lost in spoilers I would have gained in taking responsibility for my actions and preparing myself for potential stressors.

I remember Coach Boundless talked about watching Shame which had a fair bit of sex/nudity (that served the story and wasn't gratuitous) but was at a place where he felt comfortable within himself to view it and took something from the director's portrayal of a sex addict. I wanted to watch it too after reading the great reviews but I knew deep down that I wasn't ready yet to watch the nudity and remain emotionally balanced.


Think your wife makes a great point. Wherever our lines for watching nudity might lie our decisions need to continually be concious - and communicated whenever appropriate. Like tequila to the alcoholic this was a potent drink of choice for many of us so it's little wonder that our interactions with it, however brief, can heighten our partner's (or our own gut instincts) complacency radar. I guess the more concious our decisions and preparations become the more choosing a film can be seen as an opportunity to strengthen our values (and relationships) rather than something to be feared or avoided

Yes.

It is interesting. Some films are obviously in the easy decision category, while others are not. It gets tiring sometimes, but the truth is the boundaries we set, and the action plans we create, are there to protect and guide us so our healthy lives can continue. I was getting complacent about those things, and I needed to be reminded that when I can do better, it is expected I do better.

Hi coach


a thought that we should all aspire to
thanks for this insight

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
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Kenzo