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 Post subject: My Lies Continue
PostPosted: Mon Jul 06, 2015 2:16 pm 

Joined: Fri Apr 04, 2014 8:43 am
Posts: 110
Hi All, I'd be delighted for some advice here if at all possible.

Ive managed over the past three years to stop my porn addiction and ritual mastrubation but I still objectify women. If I can relate an incident obver the weekend it may show what I'm struggeling with.

My wife and I are not in the best place at the present though she has shown me great love and affection recently trying to get me to open up. Last week I promissed to discuss with her any triggers or potential objectifications I saw. When out together a motorcycle passed us with a woman perched on the back. Because I saw the woman and I had said to myself that I would talk to my wife as soon as I did see anything vaugly sexual I immediatley mentioned it.

I said that I had seen the woman on the bike. Thats pretty much all I said. I didnt refer to sexually or say the reason why I had noticed there was a woman on the bike (as opposed to another man) at all, my wife had not even noticed her.

My wife asked why I had known it was a woman and I lied that because she was small and wearing boots I had seen that she wasent a man. I had seen these things but the main reason I noticed it was a woman was that I had seen here backside and therefore had looked at her in a sexual manner.

Why do I find it difficult to come up with the right form of words to say what I'm doing. Our relationship is at such a low ebb it cant go any further but I cant seem to discuss my failings, triggers or anything else with my wife to make them better.

I wanted to say "I noticed that woman because of her arse stuck up in the air" but ended up saying something completley different that has lead to even more arguments.

Do we addicts ever get to the point where we stop thinking of ourselves and the loved ones we hurt and move to a higher plane Or am I always going to be a dickhead.

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