Recovery Nation

lesson 1 exercises
1-i will make myself better,the power of my mind and willpower will make me a better person and i will overcome this

2-i will overcome the quilt and shame to reinforce my desire to change

3-i know it will take time but, i have the patience to accomplish it

15 reasons to permanently change my life

1-my wife she's my rock, i don't want to lose her

2-my children, my children are also my rock

3-my friends, they are special to me

4-my work and business

5-my father, he's my buddy

6-my martial art-its given me a strong foundation

7-my freedom

8-my ability to not feel like a monster

9-i don't want to be a pervert

10-tranquility, my peace of mind

11-i am trustworthy to people and i want it to be true

12-if i cant be honest to me, than i cant be honest with anyone

13-i want to feel

14-i never want to be banned from anyplace

15-i never want to be in prison ever!!

the picture,

i cried yesterday and the day before now, i cant anymore even after looking at my picture as a child.
i want to feel compassion for the child in the picture,and for others, for my family
and for what i have done, for all the people who feel so much pain that they want to die.
i want to help them to heal, i almost need to help them to heal, but how can i i'm so sick?

can my pain and emptiness heal others? can it be their salvation? could god have done this? is this his plan, so that others would be saved?
can we have a savior without sin? or are we our own savior?
is the battle for heaven and earth, good and evil within us all?

a psychological war from our own demons and angels, the balance the chinese sages spoke of! ahh!
the balance, that's what i long for!

Hi WJ

Welcome to RN. You are in the right place to find the balance you speak of in lesson 2. As you also note, it will be emotional - your compulsive rituals have probably distracted you from dealing with long-pent up feelings an issues. you may know what these are - you may not. But RN offers ways to stop your negative ritual, to explore what lies behind them, and also to replace them with positive plans and values.

We are a guide and a support. The rest is up to you. There is no test to be passed or failed. Merely a set of skills to be learned, values to be explored, stories to be shared and a journey to be taken. This last is a cliche of every reality show, but this is true here. And this is your life.

Read the lessons, think on them and respond to them - so we can respond to you. Most of all begin to transfer what you learn here to each moment off tthe live you live. I dont say this to make you afraid, but to inspire. Imagine you life is a balloon right now in all likelihood deflated. Your values literally fill this and give it new life and shape. Excuse the image - I have literally just thought of it.

It will take time, and it will take energy. You will make mistakes this is life after all. But if you learn from them, and make adjustments, you caan get over this problem, make reparations and live a full and improved life.

My advice is simple. Do a littl RN every day. It gets easier and deeper the more you do. But you need to build momentum. It doesnt take long -20 mins of reading, writing. Use other people's threads as guidance. Read the support forum and ask questions. If you need help someone here will help you. Someone who has been roughly where you are.

Good luck

Shaw

thank you shaw!

lesson 2 - my vision

i see myself cured and secure in my thoughts that i know i'm normal and not some freak.
i am the master of my will," man is always in control even in his most weakened and abandoned state"
i truly owe it to my wife to be the best husband to her for putting up with my sick perversions,
for my secret life. i will make better and secure in my reassessment of my mental faculties.

the future is bright for us both and our beautiful children,they are so wonderful and precious.
my life without them is empty and i never want that feeling again ever.
i am the master of my thoughts and i will prevail over my actions period! i cant live without
my wife, she is my rock, my life is not complete without her or my children, i am not powerless
over my sickness and i will not submit to its evil ways. all my obstacles will be overcome

that is my vision for the future, me the winner with my family and most important the rest of my
perfect life! and my perfect vision of triumph, and my prefect vision of what can be overcome with the power of positive focused energy.
we do not submit to anyone or anything ever, our energy is focused forward, we go forward, we are allowed one step back to breath( mediation or pray or something that relaxes you) and that is all, when we catch our breath, we again move forward,because in my vision the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, and that my friend is our only path!

lesson 3

1. honesty
2. patience
3. self control
4. tolerance of others
5. tolerance of self
6. power to overcome
7. happiness
8. internal bliss
9. working hard
10. showing up on time
11. managing bank account and money
12. helping others to find peace
13. courage
14. leadership
15. confidence
16. generosity
17. intelligence
18. intimacy
19. trustworthiness
20. temperance
21. thankfulness
22. accomplishment
23. accuracy
24. affection
25. camaraderie
26. charm
27. cleanliness
28. clear mindedness
29. conservation
30. comfort
31. diligence
32. harmony
33. influence
34. inspiration
35. logic
36. mellowness
37. optimism
38. peace
39. playfulness
40. warmth
41. watchfulness
42. zeal
43. wisdom
44.vigor
45. understanding
46. uniqueness
47. discretion
48. dominance
49. diversity
50. devotion
51. economy
52. efficiency
53. elegance
54. encouragement
55. empathy
56. fearlessness
57. financial independence
58. fierceness
59. fitness
60. holiness
61. friendship
62. fortitude
63. gregariousness
64. fairness
65. dreaming
66. dexterity
67. dependability
68. creativity
69. cooperation
70. contentment

lesson 4

1. trustworthiness

2. fortitude

3. empathy

4. thankfulness

5. honesty

6. self control

7. generosity

8. leadership

9. inspiration

10. optimism

11. warmth

12. devotion

13. contentment

14. confidence

15. intimacy

16. logic

17. friendship

18. comfort

19. affection

20. accomplishment

Hi WJ
Let me add my welcome to that from Shaw
I wish to provide feedback on your vision
Establishing a healthy vision for one's life is the single most important tool a person can develop in their recovery. That single vision--when backed by clarity--is capable of serving as both the beacon for change and, a means of contrasting what is healthy and what is a threat. Most people's visions, get a similar feedback in that "it needs more work"
your vision should be a work in progress and you will refer back to it as you go
the exercise is so much more than a simple exercise it should be considered as one of the cornerstones of your journey of recovery


coach Jon noted that in most cases



I suggest that you ask if your vision is too limited in scope as it is focused on two or three main areas of your life, there is so much more that you could consider

An ideal vision needs to be both general and specific, idealistic and practical.

why not think about adding in , fun, happiness, honesty, love , hobbies, security, spirituality, healthy sex , friends, health ...........................................
just a thought afterall the recovery is yours and yours alone
goood luck and keep working, it is worth it

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
stay healthy keep safe
Kenzo

WilliamJohn,

Welcome to Recovery Nation! You appear to have a good start. Don't get discouraged as I once did. I regret having gone back out to do more "research."

Keep in mind that the vision you've identified is your vision. Including others in it is wonderful as we are social beings. Including God in it is outstanding as we are all carrying out His will and plans for us.

If you are working RN or any recovery program from someone else, you could easily and soon get discouraged. Do it for you. Once I recognized how my values, my boundaries, my life's goals and my vision all work together to replace the defective ways that I was turning to as means of dealing with my emotions, I experienced an "ah ha" moment that was missing from my life and my arsenal of tools for managing it. Instant gratification no longer played a role because I was finally able to recognize emotions for the fleeting, time-limited state that they are. I began making my life's decisions based on my values, boundaries, goals and vision. You will too!

I applaud your efforts to date and encourage you to continue to take incremental steps daily toward achieving your own recovery...for you!

BillOIAmBack