Your Role in Their Recovery

While covered in depth within the Partner's Workshop, the general rule for what role a partner should take in the recovery process of their loved one's addiction is as follows:

No Role Whatsoever!

Now, this comes with a huge asterisk. That being, while the partner remains in the throes of emotional instability and personal devastation, their role in assisting their partner should be as small--no role whatsoever being ideal--as possible. Why? It's a matter of the blind leading the blind. Discovering that your partner has an addiction is a devastating event. A life-altering event. It rocks the foundation of most healthy values in the person making the discovery. It takes time for even the healthiest of individuals to regain control and stability over their life; much less gain the ability to maintain control and stability over an addict's life. It's unfair. It's unhealthy. And it will invariably lead to more chaos and crisis in the lives of everyone involved.

A partner's role following the discovery of an addiction is to regain control and stability of their own life. To get to the point where they can stand alone--with or without their partner. It is then, and only then, when the option of taking a more active role in helping their partners transition away from addiction be entertained. With personal stability in place, the partner of someone in recovery can play an immeasurable role in helping not only with the transition, but with continued growth and monitoring. Again, this insight is expanded upon in depth in the Partner's Workshop.