Welcome
to the Partner's Workshop
The
workshop you are about to engage in will not remove the pain that
you are likely feeling, nor will it lessen the consequences that
you have been forced to endure. In fact, as you begin to thoroughly
examine your partner's selfish, destructive acts, you will likely
experience an increase in the pain and be forced to deal with the
reality that the consequences you now realize are just the beginning.
As more discoveries come to light, as more lies become known, as
more secrets become shed--and they almost always do in cases of
sexual addiction, no matter how sincere their initial promises of
honesty may seem--the web of pain and consequence will only grow,
ensuring that you remain on an emotional roller-coaster for much
longer than is necessary.
Hopefully
though, with the insights presented in this workshop, and with the
opportunity to examine the mind of a sexual addict in a manner that
few ever have, you will develop the ability to distance yourself
from your partner's addiction and pull yourself free from its grasp.
That is not to say--that is NEVER to say--that your partner's actions
have resulted from some uncontrollable force/disease (i.e. addiction)
that has rendered him/her incapable of controlling their actions.
As you shall see from the model presented within this workshop,
people engaging in such compulsive behavior, do so consciously.
They are fully responsible for their actions--no matter how irrational
or self-destructive they may seem. But addiction is a pattern that
strongly influences decision-making. It establishes a pattern of
making decisions based on immediate emotional gratification--without
giving consideration to either the consequences of those actions
or the values associated with that decision. Without giving emotional
consideration, that is. As you will discover, intellectual consideration
is often given to such matters prior to the act, but is quickly
overwhelmed by the emotional intensity being derived.
Still,
this does not mean that your partner is not to be held responsible
for the decisions he/she makes. Nor does it mean that your partner
is somehow more deserving of compassion and/or empathy from you--though
the latter does seem to be a natural consequence of this workshop.
At this point, all talk of your partner is irrelevant. This workshop
is not about your partner. It is not even about your partner's addiction.
It is about you and the effects that that addiction has had on your
life. It is about your ability to develop a solid foundation for
breaking free from another's addiction/recovery cycle. It is about
regaining control over your life.