HBR: The Couple's Guide


HBR Couples

Health-Based Recovery: The Couple's Guide is finished. It is currently going through an external editing process. With your purchase, you have the option of receiving the guide in sections as each of the five major areas are approved by the editing team or, waiting until the final editing is complete (2/14/08). The schedule for this editing can be found here: HBR Editing.

 

This easy-to-follow, comprehensive manual includes step-by-step instructions for any couple seeking to heal a relationship marred by sexual addiction. It was designed to walk each participant through the transition from managing the instability of discovering sexually compulsive behavior within their relationship to managing healthy lives outside of that relationship. Then, to integrate those healthy lives back into a partnership that actually thrives as a result of what they have learned. Beginning with the initial discovery, HBR: The Couple's Guide explores in depth all major obstacles that are likely to be faced by with those in recovery and/or their partners. It provides a structured path for each to pursue in their own transition to health and, a structured path for those seeking to build a new partnership in the wake of this recovery/healing process. Finally, it ends by teaching the skills necessary to monitor, manage and maintain the changes that have taken place--ensuring that those changes become ingrained within the relationship.

 

The Couple's Guide Overview

 

Section One: The Couple's Path--Laying the Foundation for Change

 

The couple's path begins with a three week series of insights and exercises that serve to build the foundation for making permanent changes to the relationship. The focus is not simply on recovering from the discovery of the addiction, it is to drive permanent change to the foundation of that relationship. To the way that it has been managed before, during and after the discovery.

 

In building this initial foundation, fundamental concepts in recovery and healing will be explored. This includes areas such as understanding addiction, understanding each other's individual paths, understanding the shared path to partnership; understanding the path to friendship (should partnership no longer be an option), establishing initial relationship values, short-term boundaries, relationship goals, basic emotional management, basic communication, realistic expectations, common obstacles and more. These are the building blocks of what is to come for both and so it becomes necessary for each to be working from the same body of reference.

 

Section Two: The Path to Individual Healing*

As a partner of someone who has engaged in sexually-compulsive behavior, your path to healing should not be limited to (or dictated by) your partner's recovery. The first step in healing your partnership is to heal yourself. This means that you set aside the next three months to examine, assess, discover, monitor, repair and develop all aspects of your life that have been influenced by your partner's behavior. What's more, it means that you do what you must to regain control and stability in your life.

 

*to be completed concurrently with your partner completing their individual work

 

Section Two: The Path to Individual Recovery*

(to be completed concurrently with your partner completing their individual work)

As someone who has engaged in sexually-compulsive behavior, your path to health is set. Follow it and you will build the foundation for living a healthy life. Follow it and you will put yourself in a position to experience for the first time, the depths of what true partnership is all about. Follow it and words such as intimacy, integrity, love, respect and honesty will take on new meaning. No longer will they exist as idealistic concepts, but rather, they will serve as practical values.

 

These next three months are designed to teach you about your past, your present and your future through the eyes of your life management skills. You will come to see how your lack of management skills led to your addiction; you will come to see how the development of healthy life management skills will lead you to health. By the end of the third month, you will have developed a foundation capable of sustaining a healthy, fulfilling life that is based on your value system.

 

*to be completed concurrently with your partner completing their individual work

 

Section Three: The Couple's Path--Building a Healthy Partnership

Once each has gained confidence in having built the foundation for managing a healthy life separate from their partner, the time for evolving these skills towards building a healthy partnership begins.

 

The couple's path involves work on many fronts--few which will have anything to do with addiction recovery. Some issues will be explored in isolation, some will be explored cumulatively. Meaning, certain skills must be mastered before others can be explored. But most of the skills along the Couple's Path will involve simultaneous development and evolution. This part of the workbook is about taking the insights you have gathered, the tools you have created, the skills you have developed and the experiences you have accumulated and learn to apply them within more complex world of shared boundaries, shared values, conflicting priorities and conflicting goals. All the while, never losing touch with the responsibility you have to manage your healthy individuality.

 

If you would like to preorder HBR: The Couple's Guide for $49, click here:

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And remember, this comprehensive manual was written for individuals in recovery/healing as well as couples.

 

A FREE BONUS!

Your order also registers you (and/or your partner) for optional participation in the Couple's Health Challenge--a month-long series of relationship-building activities focused on helping you make the most of the Couple's Guide.