Recovery Nation

I am taking a class on learning and related mild disabilities, and in reading my textbook I am struck by how learning processes parallel the healing and recovery processes, which are, essentially, a form of learning centered around specific content.

All of what I share won’t be directly from this class, but a cumulation of my overall understanding and impressions from various classes and literature, combined with my own thoughts. I won’t directly cite or credit sources (this isn’t a research paper, after all) but if anyone is particularly interested, just ask and I will provide the sources.

Anyhow, from early childhood our learning generally involves taking in information from the environment and assimilating it with previously stored information. As babies and young children, our previous knowledge base is quite limited, and relatively easy to shape.

Learning theories inform that in order to learn we often must rehearse new information. (Rehearsal is linked to memory, and memory and learning are highly interrelated). Rehearsal can be intentional (as in reading or writing notes, repeating something to be remembered etc.) but it can also be unintentional such that it occurs beyond our awareness. That is, the more times we are exposed to something, the more we “learn” it, even if we are not actively processing it. A magnificent machine our brain is!

The older we get, the more experiences we have had, the more knowledge we have accumulated. Similar experiences get assimilated and stored together in a concept or “schema” comprised. The older we get, the more ingrained this knowledge becomes, due to “rehearsal” and repeated exposure. Again, this goes for things both intentionally and unintentionally learned. It stands to reason, then, that it will take more effort to assimilate and integrate new information, especially when it is info of which we have no (or little) previous experience or knowledge.

Another facet of learning is that we learn things better when we have previous experience with it (it is familiar) or, more importantly for the conversation of healing and recovery, if it is something that is personally meaningful or relevant. This, I think, is the key to differentiating the successful recoverers and healers from the unsuccessful ones. It has been my experience that those who connect to the process in some meaningful way are the ones who succeed in making the transition from recovery of disorientation to health. It is because we are intrinsically motivated due to the connection to the personal relevance. When you hear coaches reiterating that “you must connect to recovery for its own sake”... this is essentially what we are talking about.

How do we get there? How do we connect to recovery for it’s own sake? How do we make it personally meaningful? Wait for it..... Through your vision and values! (of course). I am evermore convinced (if it is even possible for me to become even more convinced ) that the route to achieving health in either the process of healing or recovery is via creating, and connecting, to the vision for your life; that is, the vision by your design! Your vision. Your life. Your key to learning (aka healing and recovery). Now, this is the simplified version. Teaching an old dog new tricks is possible... it just takes work. Because of the accumulated years of previous knowledge, not all of which is conducive to this new learning, there is work to do to clean out the information that no longer works, and replacing it with the new information. It takes intentionality, motivation, choice (those factors that facilitate the connection) and rehearsal (aka practice--lots of practice!).

To complicate things a bit, we must also acknowledge that “old habits die hard”. That is not an excuse, and it’s not to say that it is impossible to alter our automatic reactions (it is actually completely possible, I believe) but in terms of behaviour extinction, studies have shown (in animals) that once something has been learned, and then extinguished, if the stimuli is reintroduced, automatic processes of previously learned and ingrained behaviour are quick to return, that is, the previously learned connections are much faster to reconnect.

This doesn’t mean that our new learning is for naught, it just means that we must appropriately reinforce those new connections, and continue to do so until the old connections are completely extinct. This speaks to reactivity of partners, as well as to relapse in recovery. If a person in recovery repeatedly caves into their urges, they are reinforcing their addiction. If the healing partner continually succumbs to their emotional reactivity, they are reinforcing their traumatic response. The only way to overcome these behaviours is through practice. This should be encouraging, because it means that just because you make a mistake (slip or relapse) it does not have to mean that recovery is not possible, or that you have lost all of the gains you have made. What there is to do is put the slip into perspective, and check what you are committed to.

This, of course, is a simplified version. Human beings are so much more complex and our outcomes depend on many converging factors, including our skills sets, the information we have previously stored, the experiences we have had, as well as our fundamental physiological differences that also impact the ways we learn. But, I also do not think this is uni-directional. It’s multidirectional/interactional. I believe that we can also impact our physiology through how we act and behave and the environments and information that we expose ourselves to.

I am impassioned by the capacity of human beings. We are remarkable beings and I it is exciting to see what we can accomplish. I would love to hear your thoughts.

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First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do. (Epictetus)

Thanks for this CoachMel, inspiring to reflect on the capacity we all possess to change


Indeed, can give us so much hope - especially to those of us who've "learned" more of the darker sides. Much of my recovery has been unlearning lots of unhealthy beliefs and behaviours absorbed through decades of repeated and escalated exposure to sexually stimulating imagery and experiences - many of which were learned without actively processing them. The road towards health has been paved with deliberate exposure to positive and meaningful experiences.


So true. It took me a long time to realise that the workshop, personal coaching, therapy or anyone outside of myself could successfully lead me to end my addiction. I hoped maybe a coach or mentor might post something in my recovery thread to magically motivate to stop relapsing. That I'd restore my faith and God would intervene. That an investment in private coaching would create the impetus I needed to eliminate destructive behaviours once and for all. Yet every time I've made progress it's been through meaningfully connecting to the things I personally care about and want in my life - my vision and values.

Through practising the things I care about I'm not only creating new structures to my days but building new pathways in my learning. Really like this response from overtherainbow on the partner's side too:

Thanks coach


brilliant
simplistic brilliance

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
stay healthy keep safe
Kenzo

Thanks, Coach Mel. I'm reminded of that quote, I think maybe it was Einstein, who said that we cannot solve our problems at the same level of understanding that created the problem. Or something like that. Basically, we cannot "think" our way out of addiction. It's as if we have to elevate our thinking, or connect to something that's greater than ourselves, or something like that.

I remember when I first went through the lessons. I wrote values and action plans based on what I thought I was "supposed" to do; What was expected of me. I was "supposed" to read the Bible every day, I was "supposed" to go to 12-Step meetings regularly, lest I relapse and fall back into addiction. As I've grown in maturity, I find that there's a "real me" underneath the layers of "supposed to". I am honest with myself about my own faith beliefs, my own interests, my own desires for my life. There's a vision I've connected to. Now, I go to meetings when I want to, and don't feel guilty when I don't go every week. I enjoy the time spent, and I don't believe that missing a meeting leads to immediate relapse.

As you've indicated, it's been a process. This "elevated" thinking didn't come overnight, nor do I expect that I'm done growing and learning. I'm still following a path, and the more I grow and learn, the more I have to grow and learn. The path keeps opening up.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I tied-in to what you were saying or not. I feel like I was on a bit of a sidebar. All this to say: The process of writing out a vision and extracting values WORKS! Connecting to that vision and to those values is what matters.

Thanks again,
Tim