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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 11:29 am 
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Joined: Sat Nov 18, 2017 12:36 pm
Posts: 2
Lesson 1 Exercises:

A)
1. If continuously attempting recovery for the last 3 years or so is commitment, then I’m pretty committed. I’m not sure whether the lack of success in my attempts is a lack of commitment or a lack of the proper guidance/clear direction, I believe it’s the latter. Reading the introduction and the first lesson here in the Recovery Workshop, I reflected on my addiction in a way I didn’t before, I’m just starting to realize how screwed up the situation is.
2. Oh, shame, my old friend. My addiction’s fuel. I’ve learned to manage it pretty well compared to my old self, I’m developing self-awareness and tools that I think will help a lot in the long, but I still have a lot to learn.
3. My perception of time has been changing drastically recently, probably because I’ve turned 20 recently and realized and I’m not going to be young forever. I want to live my short journey on this Earth to its fullest before it’s too late. For that reason I wish there was an over-night cure of addiction, but there isn’t. But still, looking back at the damage I’ve done to my body and brain, whatever time recovery takes, I think it won’t compare to the lifetime of the addiction itself.

B) My motivations for change:
1. Life is really, really short. Time is always running out. And death is always near.
2. I want to live a fulfilling life, to the fullest.
3. I want to be mentally and physically healthy.
4. I want to be motivated to pursue the things that matter to me in life.
5. I want to experience the whole spectrum of emotions. The vigor, the enthusiasm, the sadness and the heartbreak.
6. I want congruence and honesty with myself. Continuing the addiction is the opposite of that considering I know what it’s done to me.
7. I want to reach my full potential.
8. I want to get in touch with who I really am, without the burden of the addiction.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 2:47 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3879
Location: UK
Hello Yeah and welcome to RN
Quote:
I’m not sure whether the lack of success in my attempts is a lack of commitment or a lack of the proper guidance/clear direction,


the next weeks will determine this fact
welcome to RN
if you really do want to improve your life and to recover from your addiction then you are at a good place to make that wish reality
Commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting and reading
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination


remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:25 pm 
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Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3879
Location: UK
Yea

Quote:
I’m not sure whether the lack of success in my attempts is a lack of commitment or a lack of the proper guidance/clear direction,


the next weeks will determine this fact


sorry to make this comment but the indicators do not look positive
what is holding you back, fear?
what do you have to lose?
what can you gain, that is the key
choose wisely but do choose and choose now because believe me when I say that in addiction change is inevitable but you can and should choose the direction of that change

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 17, 2017 8:53 am 
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Joined: Sat Nov 18, 2017 12:36 pm
Posts: 2
Thank you Coach Kenzo for your comments.

Quote:
the next weeks will determine this fact

Sadly, it turns out it was both. I lacked the guidance and the commitment. Now, I have a basic idea of what it takes to lead a healthy life, but I just can't seem to be able to commit. I know it's whiny and miserable.

Quote:
sorry to make this comment but the indicators do not look positive

They sure are not positive at all. It's been the same cycle of relapse, the one that's been going for more than 3 years now.

Let me explain to you what happened in the nearly-a-month after I read Lesson 2:
It struck all the chords, I read it and I was like, "Yes, that' true. Yes, that's what I need. Yes, that's probably what it takes to dig out of the hole of addiction." It turns out vision is the answer, but not an easy one. I know it's sounds like I'm stupid or something, but I just couldn't seem to form a proper vision for my life. Every time I sat down and tried to write it down, I'm met with this relentless subconscious urge that tells me to go do something else. I mean, how can I form a vision of what should make me happy, if I don't try first what makes me happy? I can only imagine some one who "quickly" form a life vision failing. So I gave up forming a vision and said, "let me try stuff and find what makes me happy then form a vision based on those things", then I relapsed and forgot all about it.

It's probably the mortality issue mentioned in Lesson 2:
Quote:
This takes us back to the mortality issue. At this stage, you likely have another ten to fifty years of active, quality life left. Within the concept of time, that is infinitesimal. But within our own egocentric existence, that is a lot of time. Forever, in fact. Think about that. You now have 'forever' to develop depth from within your values. You have 'forever' to develop maturity and skill in managing your life. And, you have 'forever' to potentially waste to inaction, fear and noncommitment.


And
Quote:
So what would keep someone from creating such a vision? The answer is the same answer that can be applied to why some are unable to fully commit themselves to ending their addiction: mortality. Not the fear of dying, but the fear of accepting that they are living a finite life. Because they cannot accept this, they tend to hold desperately to all options, to all potential. They don't want to limit themselves because that would mean closing off a part of themselves forever. Subconsciously, closing off certain life options is to acknowledge the finite qualities of one's life. It is to acknowledge that time and experience are no longer infinite.


I think that's exactly my problem. What do you advice me to do? Should I form an "abstract" vision, follow it, then if it fails, iterate?


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 22, 2017 3:31 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3879
Location: UK
Hello Yea

[quote]Should I form an "abstract" vision, follow it, then if it fails, iterate[/quote?

absrtract no
envisage what you want here in this one chance on this earth
aspire to be be the best that you can be


Establishing a healthy vision for one's life is the single most important tool a person can develop in their recovery. That single vision--when backed by clarity--is capable of serving as both the beacon for change and, a means of contrasting what is healthy and what is a threat.


An ideal vision needs to be both general and specific, idealistic and practical. think about your vision as a useful tool, not just an exercise.
perhaps a read of coach Mels "how to " might help
 
 
 
 

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2018 12:00 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3879
Location: UK
Quote:
I just can't seem to be able to commit. I know it's whiny and miserable.


it sure is
but please note that if you cannot commit to recovery then frankly you will continue to remain committed to addiction, with all that comes with it
please re consider and evaluate your priorities

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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