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PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2020 8:53 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2019 1:59 am
Posts: 6
How do you guys generate motivation when your values take a hit?
Besides the more obvious re-evaluating goals/values and recommitting, etc...I was wondering if there's something else I'm missing.

To give you some context,
During certain situations. I always struggle to hold onto recovery and heck even actively drop it and engage guilt free in compulsive behaviours. Granted these are not everyday situations, but major events that make me feel a high level of anxiety/despair/apathy. Stuff that is not gonna be immediately resolved no matter how much you want it to be. It's working in that uncertain space that I struggle with and feel a profound sense of instability and rely on compulsive behaviour to stabilize myself.

Some insights that I have identified

maybe my values are too top heavy
Pretty much only care one thing in my life at the moment - my career. Unable to derive meaning from other areas in life (religion, fitness, social, wife and upcoming kid). it's like I have a master value and these little subordinate values only add value when the main one, career progress, is being actively juiced.

thinking about recovery as something separate from my life
I made the mistake again of isolating 'recovery' as something separate from my life. Forgetting that even in crisis situations, it's possible to continue building and working on your life. Building a values based healthy approach to life and building the required skills (urge control, decision making, emotional management) is not a redundant concept anymore just because I feel stuck and unsure about things at the moment. I can still work on resolving the issue and continue building these life management skills at the same time.

believing that I can't pursue recovery during crisis times
I can't kid myself, I know the truth is that it's more than possible and doable to sustain recovery efforts no matter what.
I remember reading somewhere in the recovery workshop manual a time when Jon decided to pursue recovery and health for their own damn sake. If for nothing else, then just to get over his compulsive behaviours for good. But man, I don't know how to value recovery at that level. I guess I haven't made it that important a priority.

These are just some things that I have identified. Would love to know how you guys manage motivation on severely depleted values.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 10, 2020 3:18 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 169
Hi Ltr17

Quote:
maybe my values are too top heavy
Pretty much only care one thing in my life at the moment - my career. Unable to derive meaning from other areas in life (religion, fitness, social, wife and upcoming kid). it's like I have a master value and these little subordinate values only add value when the main one, career progress, is being actively juiced.


I would say that you are right if work is your one main value, for healthy recovery you have spread the load. At the moment you sound like you have given up one addiction for another?

Quote:
thinking about recovery as something separate from my life
I made the mistake again of isolating 'recovery' as something separate from my life. Forgetting that even in crisis situations, it's possible to continue building and working on your life. Building a values based healthy approach to life and building the required skills (urge control, decision making, emotional management) is not a redundant concept anymore just because I feel stuck and unsure about things at the moment. I can still work on resolving the issue and continue building these life management skills at the same time.

believing that I can't pursue recovery during crisis times
I can't kid myself, I know the truth is that it's more than possible and doable to sustain recovery efforts no matter what.
I remember reading somewhere in the recovery workshop manual a time when Jon decided to pursue recovery and health for their own damn sake. If for nothing else, then just to get over his compulsive behaviours for good. But man, I don't know how to value recovery at that level. I guess I haven't made it that important a priority.


You have a clear understanding of what you need to do here :g:

I can only say that if I believed my values were depleted, that I would stop and adjust them as soon as possible. The first thing I do each morning is think about my values and how I expect myself to keep to them everyday.
Going back to your mention of work taking over everything else: part of healthy recovery is that you don't get bogged down, make sure you have a variety of interests and especially give plenty time to family.

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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