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PostPosted: Thu Apr 25, 2013 11:36 pm 

Joined: Mon Apr 08, 2013 10:01 pm
Posts: 1
It has been almost a year, since I found out my husband was a sex addict. Never would this have ever crossed my mind. We have been married for 15years. I thought I knew everything about him.Till the day I discovered he was on Facebook taking to someone about going over to her house or having her come to ours. Till this day, I still get sick thinking about it. I was molested when I was young and I had a hard time trusting men even my husband. So we had only one email/ Facebook/among other social medias. He had no idea that I could see when he chatted on Facebook. On a weekend that I had left with both our boys on a trip to T.X. is when my world collapsed. After catching him ,he drove all the way to T.X. to try save our marriage. At this point I thought this was the first time he had done this. I Having had trust issues demanded a lie detector test. Little did I know what I was about to discover. When I made the appt. He swore that this was the only time in our marriage that he had ever done anything like this. I guess he was hopeing that I would not make him take the test. He waited to the night before the test to tell me he had sex with a striper 9yrs ago. So of course now knowing this, I had him take the test. When the examiner was asking him the questions and he had wires hooked on him, I really felt sorry for him. Then when the examiner said he failed, my heart skipped a beat and every thing around me seem to move slow. I could not hear anything , I could not speak, My mind could not form any thoughts. I felt as I was in weird dream. I had never in my life felt so out of touch. Our drive home was at least a full hour. As I sat in the passenger seat unable to move or speak my husband began to confess. He yelled "I have not slept with anyone else other the then the stripper" yet the test had indicated other wise. Then he pulled over the truck and began to tell me he had viewed two of my sisters while they showered in our home .That he had made a hole in the attic to view them when they were visiting. I could not speak or move. I was in shock. Somehow in his mind he thought that was better then having had slept with someone else. He said that was the only dark secret that he thought would have made him fail the test. The rest of the ride home I can't remember. when I made it home I recall siting down in the living room and sitting next to my oldest son saying"there is something wrong with your father" and that's where this nightmare began!

PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 8:59 am 
Partner's Coach (Admin)

Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2007 3:07 pm
Posts: 5200
Hello realme,

I am sorry to hear of your discovery. It sounds like it was quite traumatic for you. Fortunately, you found Recovery Nation and I am sure you will find the workshop lessons to be helpful (yet they are work, and can be confronting, they are none the less invaluable) and the community support forum is a place where you will find relatedness with others whom have shared similar situations. Many of our members offer sound experiential advice, and the coaches here (who have all been members ourselves) will offer input from time to time as well. Welcome to your healing workshop.

Be well.

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. (Viktor E. Frankl)

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