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 Post subject: Re: Book List/Reviews
PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 11:05 am 
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Partner's Mentor

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:49 pm
Posts: 3834
HOW CAN I FORGIVE YOU? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To
by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D

Catagories:
Recovery,
Healing,
Personal Growth
Couples

“Healing, like love flourishes in the context of a caring relationship. I would go so far as to say that we can’t love alone, and we can’t forgive alone.”
--------from How Can I Forgive You?

I highly recommend How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To, by Janis Abrahms Spring. It’s very comprehensive, intelligent, and practical in its approach to forgiveness in a variety of situations, not just betrayal and is based on years of working with patients who struggled to find resolution for their hurt and pain. She gives insights and direction into reaching genuine forgiveness not "superficial peace." The book includes a section especially for the “offender.” Here she talks about compassion, empathy, making amends and self-forgiveness offering examples and practical tools that can be plugged into personal situations without the results being some sort of fill-in-the-blank assignment. She discusses what works and what doesn't and why but still leaves the doing to us.

Although there are biblical quotes, I didn't find her work based on religious principles in the usual sense (if there is such a thing). She is Jewish and does make references to some Jewish thinking about forgiveness which resonated with me though I am not Jewish. In the forward, she also credits a Presbyterian mininster for his thoughts on forgiveness.

On a personal note, my husband and I each own a copy of How Can I Forgive You? It has made a difference for both of us in how we approach forgiveness in our relationship, ourselves, and our families and is a practical working model that we continue to use.

Nellie James


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 Post subject: Re: Book List/Reviews
PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 10:43 am 
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Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2009 8:34 am
Posts: 276
Changing for Good: a Revolutionary Six Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and moving Your Life Positively Forward by John C. Norcross, James Prochaska, Carlos C Diclemente
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B003GYEH2 ... 375&sr=8-5
This is a research based book which breaks the process of change into six categories which can be applied to anything from bad habits to addiction to dealing with distress. It is health based-- a great compliment to the RN Workshop. It gives you some sense of where you and your partner are in the stages of recovery.

Cupid's Poison Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships
By Marnia Robinson
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B003WUYP9 ... =8-3-spell
Lessons in sexuality based in intimacy

The Narcissistic Family by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0028N60U ... 233&sr=1-1
When one family member's needs dominate the whole familyï

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0041VYNW ... 859&sr=1-1
This great Buddhist monk can make you feel good about feeling bad


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 Post subject: Re: Book List/Reviews
PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 12:11 pm 
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Partner's Mentor

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:49 pm
Posts: 3834
THE FOUR AGREEMENTS, by Don Miguel Ruiz

Catagories:
Recovery
Healing
Personal Growth

I stumbled upon this book years ago. I read it casually, but didn't really apply it to my life until after DDay when I found myself overcome by needless suffering and falling victim to the SA mindset and my own emotional reactions. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, the Four Agreements offers us a simple "code of conduct" to live by. The agreements free us up to honor ourselves and what we value: First, "be impeccable with your words," second, "don't take anything personally," third, "don't make assumptions," and fourth, always do your best, knowing your best is going to change from moment to moment." It all sounds so simple. Hmmm. That's where reading the book and living by it's basic tenets come into play. It's also available on CD/tape and has a companion workbook. My husband and I listen to it when we travel in the car and have the workbook. Moreover, we find ourselves reminding ourselves of these simple agreements whenever times get tough - in all areas of our lives, not just our relationship.

Nellie James


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 Post subject: Re: Book List/Reviews
PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 8:06 am 
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Partner's Coach (Admin)

Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2007 3:07 pm
Posts: 5200
Captain1 wrote:
Coach Mel,

Regarding books that could possibly help I have one for you. I did the "Love Dare" and it is great. It is religion based but it puts you through 40 days of lessons that bring you closer to your spouse as well as God. If someone wants to bring the Lord back into their life and get closer to their spouse, this is a great one to read/do.

Capt

_________________
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. (Viktor E. Frankl)


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 Post subject: Re: Book List/Reviews
PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:46 pm 
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Partner's Mentor

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:49 pm
Posts: 3834
Hi Cheryl,
My H, Chrysler has a question regarding our using the link to Amazon to buy books from the RN list. fI we continue to shop and buy other products via the RN link, does RN get credit for those additional purchases or just the books on our list? I just read him the article we plan to put in the newsletter and he wasn't clear on this point.

It's my understanding that we only get credit for the books on our list, not other purchases. Amazon always shows other books that folks have purchased along with the one searched for - nice way to make a larger sale.

Please clarify and I can add this to the article. If my H is confused, others will be as well. :w:

Thanks,
Nellie


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 Post subject: Re: Book List/Reviews
PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 1:23 pm 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 6:24 pm
Posts: 569
Hi Nellie,

Hope Cheryl doesn't mind me jumping in here but can confirm that RN gets commission from anything you buy at Amazon (including additional purchases), so its not only from recommended books.

Whether you use the search boxes at the top of the affiliates page or the recommended books links - anything you go on to buy will contribute to RN (and none of your personal information gets passed to RN so your privacy is still maintained as usual).

You can use these RN affiliate links to the Amazon homepage too:
USA - Amazon.com
Canada - Amazon.ca
UK - Amazon.co.uk

newme


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 Post subject: Re: Book List/Reviews
PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 10:18 pm 
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Partner's Mentor

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:49 pm
Posts: 3834
Thanks for the clarification. That's a huge incentive to use the Amazon link. There are always other books suggested that are in keeping with the one you search for. Perhaps, this information should be on the Community Forum just as a a reminder to folks who don't check the Members Corner.

Nellie


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 Post subject: Re: Book List/Reviews
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:44 pm 
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General Coach (Admin)

Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2008 1:49 pm
Posts: 3957
Thanks for clarifying for me newme. I have been off my feet with the flu and am just getting back up. I appreciate you stepping in!


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 Post subject: Re: Book List/Reviews
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:53 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Tue May 27, 2008 10:26 am
Posts: 1806
There's a book I want to ask about. In the Partner's Forum, a long time ago, I saw a posting about a book called "Erotic Intelligence"

[url]http://www.amazon.com/Erotic-Intelligence-Igniting-Recovery-Addiction/dp/0757314376/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1324338588&sr=8-1
[/url]

All I know about it is the woman runs an addiction clinic in San Diego, CA (I think that's where I read she was located.

Anyway, my wife and I are still struggling to rebuild this area of our marriage, and I'm hesitant to buy this book without talking to someone about it first. Thanks, if you can provide any feedback.

Best,
Coach Tim

edit: I can see the url didn't come out properly. Just look it up on Amazon.


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 Post subject: Re: Book List/Reviews
PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 6:20 pm 
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Partner's Mentor

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:49 pm
Posts: 3834
Several partners don't know about the book list or where to look for it. Can someone post this on the forums? I'm still not sure how to find it except for this thread. Is there another place on our site?
Nellie











c


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 Post subject: Re: Book List/Reviews
PostPosted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 6:06 am 
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Partner's Mentor

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 8:40 pm
Posts: 543
I was wondering if it is possible for the "Book List/Reviews" to have it's own heading under the Members Corner.

I know how to find it, but it seems a bit buried and may be tough for new members to find.

Just a thought.

itfm

_________________
"The past has no power to stop you from being present now. Only your grievance about the past can do that. And what is a grievance? The baggage of old thought and emotion." - Eckhart Tolle A New Earth


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 Post subject: Re: Book List/Reviews
PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 12:54 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2011 2:49 pm
Posts: 1626
I actually just read the Art of Power a couple weeks ago too -- was going to submit a review, but I could come up with something to add to yours! :g: I agree -- it'd be a good one to recommend here, particularly since I think both partners and those struggling with addictions sometimes have issues surrounding power.

When I write something, I'll post it here!

Another one I'm going to be reading right away is called "Addiction: A Disorder of Choice" by Gene Heyman, a Harvard psychology professor. From what I've read about it, it seems to jibe well with the RN model.

Boundless

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"If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where do you expect to find it?" - Dogen

"Be a lamp unto yourself." - Buddha

"The obstacle is the path."


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 Post subject: Re: Book List/Reviews
PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 11:31 pm 
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Partner's Coach

Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 11:36 pm
Posts: 1291
I was reading "The Art of Power" until I couldn't put down the Hunger Games triology. Great book and will most definitely finish it.

A fun one that I should write a review is: "How to be happy damnit, a synic's guide to spiritual happiness." Funny, insightful and very easy to read. <--there that's my review. :sat:

_________________

"What day is it,?" asked Pooh.
"It's today," squeaked Piglet.
"My favorite day," said Pooh.


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 Post subject: Re: Book List/Reviews
PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:59 pm 
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General Coach (Admin)

Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2008 1:49 pm
Posts: 3957
LOL! Thank you!


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 Post subject: Re: Book List/Reviews
PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 1:46 am 
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Partner's Mentor

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:49 pm
Posts: 3834
I agree. This is hard to find.
Nellie


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