|
|
Recovery Workshop: Month 1; Week 4; Day 5Mapping Compulsive RitualsMapping a Compulsive Ritual Mapping a compulsive ritual involves 'mapping out' the specific elements that make up any given behavior. Writing them down so that you can see how they all work together to generate the stimulation that they do.
As you transition towards a healthier life, you will come to separate the emotions associated with compulsive behavior from the behavior itself. By learning to break down the elements of your existing ritualistic patterns, you are providing yourself a concrete, objective means for seeing the role that your compulsive behavior plays in your life. In other words, what you have previously accepted as natural, can now be experienced as artificial. What you once believed to be an internal process that was beyond your control, can now be accurately perceived as an external means for controlling yourself. Using self-medication as a metaphor: by seeing the functional roles that each compulsive element plays in manipulating your overall emotional state, you are then free to choose what medication you will take (value-based versus emotion-based); the dosage (by further increasing/reducing the individual elements associated with your ritualistic patterns); and finally, you are able to make rational decisions as to whether or not the side effects of addiction are worth the temporary relief it provides (in other words, you will have the ability to weigh the consequences of each element, prior to your engagement in them). Once you have mastered the ability to 'map out' your behavioral patterns--and have combined this skill with the ability to use arbitrary measurements to represent the emotions that are generated (e.g. "measuring the behavior"), you will have developed a necessary ingredient for isolating and removing the addictive process from your core identity.
Take a moment to examine an excellent example of a ritual developed by a workshop participant. Note how each element provides for some type of emotional stimulation:
While this particular style might not be the one you are most comfortable with (detailed, expanded); ensure that as you continue to master your own rituals, you develop consistency in how you document each element of the ritual.
Mapping a Compulsive Ritual As you learn the skill of mapping compulsive rituals, do note that it is considerably easier--and more effective--to work with previous behavior patterns that you have experienced, rather than 'made up' ones. Another important aspect of this skill is to recognize that merely developing the ability to map these rituals is not in and of itself beneficial--and in fact, developing such a skill can actually be detrimental--providing them with the impetus to actually enhance their compulsive experiences. The key is in your motivation. Those who are motivated to truly leave their addiction behind can use this skill to do just that. Others who are not as sincere can use it as a tool for manipulating the high that they experience.
Your first step in mapping a compulsive ritual is to select a single, specific behavior pattern to work with. As you consider the first element of that ritual, consider the emotions that were experienced just prior to the 'urge' to act out. For some, it might be boredom, or arousal, or anxiety; for others, it might be success, anger or failure; and for still others, it might be rejection, monotony, pressure, depression or any number of feelings. And, of course, for most, it will be any number of these. The only consistent property of acting out is the invariable presence of some emotional trigger just prior to experiencing the 'urge'.
The next step is to consider the urge itself. This is a key element in understanding rituals, as it is often the breaking point for the chains that follow. In fact, it will be your recognition of this urge that will serve as the point in decision making--and it is why you have been instructed to take out your values list and read through it at this point with EACH urge experienced...whether you go ahead and act on the urge or not. More on this later.
After identifying the urge, the remainder of steps involve an accurate and emotionally self-aware representation of the different points throughout an act where your actions (i.e. behaviors, thoughts) have caused a change in your emotional state. This change can involve either increases/decreases in either positive or negative emotions. The key is that they produce change in the current emotional state.
The following is an example of a possible ritual for someone who has exhibited multiple affairs/promiscuity:
The ritual can go on and on...depending on the particular patterns that are involved with any given behavior.
Let's look at another possible ritual: this one for pornography.
A ritual for someone who has exhibited behaviors associated with Pornography:
As you can see, rituals are rather subjective...though the more objective you become at identifying them, the better off you will be. There is no need to become overly concerned with whether or not a particular element is "right or wrong" for any given ritual...or if it occurs just before, simultaneously or just after the inclusion of another element. Also, it is common for early rituals to miss many subtle ways in which your emotions are being stimulated. Don't worry about such things. Simply try to identify every element that you can. The overall goal here is to identify the elements themselves, recognize how they influence your emotional state...and then to use that information to help in decision making down the road.
Exercise 24 In the previous exercise, you were asked to label the elements involved with a particular ritual. In this exercise, you will be delving deeper into your awareness of that ritual. Here, you are asked to 'map out' one of your rituals. Make sure that you choose a specific ritual that you have engaged in (as in, last Thursday before work, I looked at porn); rather than a general compulsive behavior (as in, in the past, I looked at porn).
The main difference between what you did in the previous exercise and this is that you are no longer listing the elements of the ritual. Instead, you are listing the behavior associated with that element. For example, in the past exercise, it was sufficient to label a voyeuristic ritual with the element 'sensory stimulation--visual'. No longer. From this point forward, all rituals should be identified in terms of the specific thoughts/behaviors associated with the elements. And so, today, your 'element' will read something like this: "I would focus my eyes on her and inconspicuously follow her around the store."
Post this more advanced ritual in your recovery thread. |
