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PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2021 7:59 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 6
Consider where you feel in relation to the 3 recovery keys.

A. Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery are:

1. actively committing yourself to change
1. I don't want to just survive anymore. I'm tired of going from addiction to addiction and knowing that it won't serve me. I'm tired of hanging out with friends and people with no goals, purpose, or meaning in their lives. I'm tired of using women for sex and not having intimacy. I no longer want to stay isolated in my room for hours a day because of fears of what people will think of me. I want LIFE. I want to be present, I want to pursue passions. I want to love, feel and experience beautiful and painful times. I wanna wake up with a plan for the day but enjoy the journey it takes to get to the goal. My life right now sucks and I hate it being this way. I know I can change it though. I know it's possible. I know that I can grow, learn and develop. It has to be possible and it's worth it to read the books, to do the activities in this workshop as many times as necessary until I get success.


2. Not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
1. I realize that the feelings of guilt and shame for my past actions are a part of the process. There is nothing I can do to go back and change them but I can look at myself in the mirror and find the areas that I need to work on and develop in my life. At this point, I understand nothing else will help. It is either I will keep going through this cycle or face myself.


3. allowing yourself time to change.
1. One of the most important lessons I have learned over the past year is that it takes time. Sometimes a long time to unwind all the past threads and patterns. I've made the commitment to never giving up on this process. I want a better future, I want to heal my wounds and grow. I will take the time that is necessary.


B. 10-15 reasons that motivate me to change my life?

1. I don’t want to get to the end of my life with the most dominant experience having been struggling with a porn addiction.
2. I want to have a future with a wife and children where I am not struggling with addiction.
3. I don’t want the constant fear and anxiety of feeling like people are judging me and feeling shameful for who I am.
4. I want to pour my soul into the moments that I get to have with this life.
5. The opportunity to dig deeper and commit to healing my wounds.
6. I want to inspire others.
7. I want to become skillful at something I love, make money then never work a job again.
8. I want to believe, trust and have confidence in the person that I am.
9. I want to be able to look at a woman as the beautiful being she is and not constantly fantasize about different fetishes.
10. I want to design a life, and set goals that will ask me to stretch and grow in order to achieve them.


Last edited by Beautyseeker2224 on Wed Oct 13, 2021 2:19 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:17 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 286
Welcome to RN Beautyseeker2224,

You have a long way to go to get healthy,
but if you stick to doing 2 or 3 lessons per week (some take more time) and keep focused you will find out how good it can be for your recovery.

Good luck :g:

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2021 9:44 am 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 6
Lesson two exercises

A big part of this for me is to love myself. I have been the slave to the opinions of others my entire life and I want to know what it’s like to stand with the truth of loving who I am. I know that I have bad parts about me but we all do. I don’t want to see that as a limitation to loving who I am. To do this I would like to commit to studying myself through books and daily self-inquiry so that I can take a deep look at the parts of myself that I do not see as lovable.

Secondly, I would like to develop self-discipline. I have seen firsthand the consequences of neglecting my life. This is one of the reasons that I am here. I want to take care of my health, relationships, finances, and other aspects of my life. I want to be able to look back on each day knowing that I gave the best I could to work on developing myself. My plan to accomplish these things is to start small and work on developing the skill of making goals that can be completed in my day-to-day life but also long-term goals that I will stretch towards. My first goal will be to focus on my health. I want to make the long-term goal of doing a triathlon. In my day-to-day life, I would like to eat a plant-based diet, exercise, and stretch daily.

Another part of this for me is my addiction. I would like to eventually inspire others with my story of how I got through it and grew as a person. I know that many people think of porn as something that is just “normal.” I realize that eventually, they may all run into an awareness about how it is affecting them. I hope that I can help out and lead others to these sites and resources on how to get past an addiction like this. I will do this by becoming a mentor on this website one day and giving others this resource.

Lastly, I would like to participate in helping out in inner-city neighborhoods where people have limited access to healthy food options (food deserts). This is important to me because I hate the fact that many children are being born into obesity and poor eating habits. I will participate by helping out organizations that are serving vegan and plant-based food options to these communities.


Last edited by Beautyseeker2224 on Sun Oct 17, 2021 7:45 am, edited 3 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 01, 2021 1:38 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 4065
Location: UK
Hello BS and I add my welcome to that from T

your vision
a whole life in 4 topics :pe:
I suggest that you expand on this before moving on
your reasons for change coupled to your vision provide the corner stones of the foundation of your recovery
yours as it stands appears to be a tick in a box

I suggest that you read coach Mel's "how to " found in this forum
but as always you get to choose
choose wisely but some how why and whens might stand you in good stead in the future, your future

remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 1:36 pm 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 286
Hey BS,

It has been a month since you started your thread, what happened?
A lot of people on here will tell you how much RN has helped them recover and most will tell you to stick with it and work through the lessons as each one brings new knowledge. If you stop/start things will be very difficult for you reach your goal!

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 25, 2021 3:31 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 6
Wow thanks for checking up on me. I guess if I am being honest I have been pretty lazy about it. I have been following Coach Mel's Idea of setting up my own vision and everything for 5 minutes a day just trying to start small and build my desire. I was hoping eventually my clear vision would make me want to do this more but I am beginning to realize a lot of this will rely on me myself. I have a few of the assignments finished. Although I wanted to go back over them before posting.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2021 11:00 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 286
Hi BS2224

Quote:
I am beginning to realize a lot of this will rely on me myself


Glad to see that you have seen the light, it is all about YOU and RN is here to give you some tools and aid your recovery.

My advice is to dive right in a start putting things down, there are plenty here to help you and you can go back over things as required.
You may also find as time goes by that your mind changes on your earlier writings.
I and a few others have been through the workshop more than once.

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 10, 2021 8:29 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 6
Lesson 3 Exercises:
1. Practicing yoga for the health of my body
2. Practicing meditation to develop a deeper relationship with my human nature
3. Exercising to keep a healthy body and compete in athletic events
4. Read a few pages of oriental philosophy
5. Read 12 books a year
6. Goto sleep at a reasonable time
7. Attend the meeting or a spiritual group once a week
8. Learn to communicate better
9. Learn about financial independence
10. living with compassion
11. Daily self-inquiry
12. Presence
13. Adventure
14. Drug and alcohol free
15. Eating a plant-based diet each day
16. Looking deeper into the nature of who I am
17. Discipline
18. Self-motivation
19. Peace of mind
20. Humbleness
21. Non-Dualistic
22. honesty
23. Get married and be a good husband and father
24. Become skilled in something to stop working a job
25. Creativity
26. Communicating feelings
27. Open-minded
28. Awareness
29. Organization
30. Cleanliness
31. Ambition
32. Authenticity
33. being my best
34. Bravery
35. Maturity
36. Curiosity
37. Consciousness
38. Confidence
39. Growth
40. Detachment
41. Connection to others
42. Friendliness
43. Acceptance of myself
44. Dedication
45. Resilience
46. Dependability
47. Solitude
48. Concentration
49. Peace of mind
50. Getting out of the rat race
51. Finding a way to help the community
52. Public speaking
53. No social media
54. Patience
55. Energy
56. Gratitude
57. Impact
58. Kindness
59. Trust
60. Watchfulness
61. Wealth
62. Serenity
63. Happiness
64. Sacrifice
65. Knowing how to say no
66. No television
67. Stillness
68. Listening to others
69. Carefulness
70. Self-love
71. self-reliance
72. Figuring out my own definition of success
73. Not to be a follower


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2021 8:57 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 6
Lesson 4 exercises:
1. Exercising to keep a healthy body and compete in athletic events
2. Eating a plant-based diet each day
3. Going sleep at a reasonable time
4. Daily self-inquiry
5. Authenticity
6. Presence
7. Read 12 books a year
8. Cleanliness
9. Drug and alcohol free
10. Discipline
11. self-reliance
12. Self-love
13. Patience
14. Carefulness
15. Learn to communicate better
16. Self-motivaton
17. Knowing how to say no
18. Acceptance of myself
19. Becoming skilled in something
20. Getting out of the rat race
21. Awareness
22. Being my best
23. Peace of mind
24. Humbleness
25. Non-Dualistic view
26. Gratitude
27. Honesty
28. Maturity
29. Ambition
30. Dedication
31. Living with compassion
32. Learn about financial independence
33. Adventure
34. Curiosity
35. Open minded
36. Sacrifice
37. Stillness
38. Creativity
39. Growth
40. Confidence
41. Concentration
42. Solitude
43. Peace of mind
44. Communicating feelings
45. Consciousness
46. Bravery
47. Connection to others
48. Not to be a follower
49. No television
50. Friendliness
51. No social media
52. Organization
53. Finding a way to help the community
54. Wealth
55. Resilience
56. Detachment
57. Get married and be a good husband and father
58. Practicing yoga for the health of my body
59. Practicing meditation to develop a deeper relationship with my human nature
60. Trust
61. Read a few pages of oriental philosophy to study myself
62. Dependability
63. Public speaking
64. Impact
65. Finding a way to help the community
66. Energy
67. Attend the meeting or a spiritual group once a week
68. Looking deeper into the nature of who I am
69. Serenity
70. Watchfulness
71. Kindness
72. Happiness
73. Figuring out my own definition of success


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2021 6:25 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 6
Top 15 Values
1. Exercising to keep a healthy body and compete in athletic events
2. Eating a plant-based diet each day
3. Going sleep at a reasonable time
4. Daily self-inquiry
5. Authenticity
6. Presence
7. Read 12 books a year
8. Cleanliness
9. Drug and alcohol free
10. Discipline
11. self-reliance
12. Self-love
13. Patience
14. Carefulness
15. Learn to communicate better


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 17, 2021 2:28 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jan 07, 2020 4:07 pm
Posts: 147
hi there!

i just wanted to comment on good work between having a mix of practical and universal values! i think that's a healthy approach to have.

_________________
Please note I have been pre approved to start posting on other members threads. My status will be updated to mentor in the near future. I hope my input will be of service to you and your recovery --- as it will foster my growth :)


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