Recovery Nation

A. Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery are:
1) actively committing yourself to change
2) not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
3) allowing yourself time to change.
Consider where you feel you are in relation to each of these recovery keys? Briefly share your thoughts in your Recovery Thread.
I am committed to believing in myself and understanding my core identity. I have been struggling a very long time with porn addiction. The guilt associated with this addiction will not cause my commitment to change.

B. Beyond an active commitment to change, another important factor in determining your ultimate success is your motivation. Look deep inside and list ten to fifteen reasons why you seek to permanently change your life. Don't stop at three or four obvious ones, really examine your life and what is important to you. Phrase these in the positve. For example: " I don't want to keep deceiving my wife" would serve you better if written like "I want to be honest and transparent with my wife". Positive statements have much more power in our mindset than negative ones. List these in your recovery thread.
1. Make more time available to ME
2. See the beauty in people
3. Becoming a more positive leader
4. Controlling my emotions
5. Being more free to life experiences
6. Redeveloping the intimate relationship with my wife like we used to have
7. Being confident when using my computer alone
8. Creating a real core value system
9. Living by my core values
10. Becoming a more family oriented person
11. Being able to someday help someone overcome SA
12. Learning to love myself
C. One of the most powerful insights you can gain in establishing a foundation for permanent recovery is to come to see your addiction within the scope of your life span. In other words, to not just see your addiction as it is now, but to look across the span of your life to see the role that addiction has played in your development. Much of this will be explored throughout the workshop, but to put yourself in the right frame of mind to develop such a perception, do the following:

Find a picture of yourself when you were a small child. An innocent child. For those with early childhood sexual abuse issues, do not mistake this abuse for a lack of innocence. You were absolutely innocent. It will be hard to derive the full value from this exercise without an actual picture so if it is just a matter of needing to find one...wait. Wait until you have the picture in your hand. If such a picture does not exist, try envisioning a moment in your life when you were 3, 4...perhaps 5 years old — but only do this as a last resort. The power of this exercise rests in your ability to look into the eyes of your own innocence — something that is very hard to do through memory alone.

Now, with the picture in hand, look into that child's eyes. Feel their innocence. Acknowledge that this child is you at a point in your life. Feel how vulnerable you were. How trusting. Recognize the lack of addiction in your life...and the desire for little more than love, compassion, teaching and support. Think of the trauma you faced throughout your life. Think of the times when you felt alone. Confused. If you feel like it, cry for this child. Allow yourself to feel love for this child. Do whatever you must to emotionally connect with this child because it is for this child that you are now reclaiming your life. It is this child who lost their way and you are the one now showing the courage to guide this child, who is you, back to health.

_________________
I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
~Michael Jordan

Pursue your vision with passion, but don't equate that passion as the validation for your life's vision.
Establishing a healthy vision for one's life is the single most important tool a person can develop in their recovery. That single vision--when backed by clarity--is capable of serving as both the beacon for change and, a means of contrasting what is healthy and what is a threat.
An ideal vision needs to be both general and specific, idealistic and practical.
consider a few when how and why, s in your vision
I am sure that you will change and evolve this vision as you go, perfection at first shot is unlikely but feedback from a mentor or coach is likely in the unlikely event that you are way off beat
hope this helps

MY VISION
All my life I have possessed a unique trait of helping others. As a little boy, I used desire to make people laugh not because I thought I was a comedian. I entertained people to see the joy and laughter come into their life.
Let me share with you a short story. When I was around 10 years old, my mom's friend would come to visit us. She always brought her son Ronnie with her. Ronnie had serious mental issues; however, he was able to understand and comprehend things going on around him. For me, Ronnie was a prime target for my comedy act. When I would perform for Ronnie and see the joy and laughter in his face, I would be delighted and his laughter would bring joy to my little life.
So at a young age I came to realize that one of my goals in life is helping others. As simple as it my seem, my vision in life is this: HELPING OTHERS. Why is this important to me, you may ask? Because my whole life thus far has had this passionate committment to see others succeed.
My first step in pursuing this vision will to write a book. Right now, I'm not quite sure where or how to begin. This book, however, will be my first step in fulfilling and continuing my vision in life, which is helping others succeed.

_________________
I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
~Michael Jordan

Hello Oak
when posting please press the reply not the new topic key
this keeps all of your posts in one thread making it easy for you , mentors and coaches to follow

Values:
1. Practicing Integrity
2. Believing authenticity is the only way
3. Respecting other
4. Having others respect me
5. Respecting myself
6. Living with Excellence
7. Striving for excellence in all I do
8. Making excellence a way of life
9. Being reliable
10. Working as a team player
11. Seek unity
12. Identify who I really am
13. Being a service to others
14. Practicing loving my wife with renewed intimacy
15. Caring for my wife
16. Being my wife’s best friend
17. Pursuing my life goals with passion
18. Spending time each day working on my vision
19. Pray daily
20. Praying for my family
21. Praying for myself
22. Praying for all those in need
23. Loving God
24. Believing in God
25. Attending religious services
26. Giving to those in need
27. Pray for togetherness
28. Loving nature
29. Loving trees
30. Caring for trees
31. Sharing tree passion with others
32. Bringing joy to others
33. Seeking the impossible
34. Reach for the stars
35. Reach for beyond the stars
36. Learning how to write a book
37. Developing theme for my book
38. Complete outline for book by mid-year
39. Completing book in two years
40. Living with discomfort
41. Living with fear
42. Giving in to impulses
43. Feeling guilt when impulses rule out
44. Understanding science behind impulse responses
45. Knowing the gratification that come with acting out
46. Thriving for financial independence
47. Develop college fund for grandchildren
48. Being creative in my investments
49. Being honest in my financial investments
50. Knowing that I am imperfect
51. Using that imperfection to grow
52. Strive for imperfection
53. Grow from my faults
54. Celebrate failure
55. Grow from failure
56. Research on how to write a book
57. Develop book anchor
58. Using my knowledge of tree as my book theme
59. Controlling my diabetes
60. Keeping A1C between 6.2 and 6.4
61. Walking 10,500 steps per day
62. Exercising 3 times per week at gym for upper body
63. Visit Dr. Every 3 months
64. Relieving life stresses through viewing internet pornography
65. Masturbating to orgasm to internet pornography
66. Getting caught up in compulsive cycle of viewing porn
67. Programming my brain with porn images and thoughts
68. Succumbing to guilt after porn session complete
69. Stealing away my time by viewing porn, masturbating and achieving orgasm
70. Setting annual work achievement goals
71. Achieving my annual work goals
72. Completing 3 to 5 client visits per day
73. Competing my sales action plan by February 1 each year
74. Compete in speech contest
75. Develop speech
76. Have speech reviewed by a speech writer
77. Compete in WAT club contest
78. Continue to work with District 46 leaders
79. Research building new house on open lot
80. Research selling my current home
81. Moving into our new home
82. Buying a second home in Florida
83. Develop loving relation with my self
84. Keep me in the forefront
85. Trust in me as a person and friend
86. Take up wood working again
87. Make a unique woodworking project to sell
88. Read new books, at least three per year
89. Always perform anything I do with integrity
90. Place honesty first
91. Show integrity in caring for others
92. Love of freedom
93. Appreciate my freedom
94. Appreciate my country
95. Committee to my conservative nature
96. Support those that believe in freedom
97. Consider running for political office
98. Pursue my personal goals every day for at least 1 hour
99. Organize my life activities to focus on my retirement (which I call my rejuvenation)
100. Keep a positive outlook on life
101. Teach my grandchildren about nature
102. Assisting Russ (my son-in-law) whenever I can
103. Praying for Russ
104. Praying for my children and grandchildren

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo

_________________
I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
~Michael Jordan

_________________
I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
~Michael Jordan

_________________
I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
~Michael Jordan

Lesson 12 Exercise:
I. Identify those patterns that you currently recognize in yourself in relation to an unhealthy recovery. Post these observations into your Recovery Thread and/or Recovery Manager

1. Actively preparing in my mind, the environment for acting out beforehand
2. Triggers that cause my mind to recall the porn library in my mind
3. Feeling powerlessness over urges
4. Striving for perfection. When this doesn't occur, which it never does, an urge takes over
5. Measuring recovery success by abstinence

_________________
I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
~Michael Jordan

Lesson 13 Exercises:
Identify those patterns that you currently recognize in yourself in relation to a healthy recovery. Post these observations into your Recovery Thread and/or Recovery Manager.

A. Thinking of my priortized values throughout my daily activities
B. When a urge flashes upon me, I work at not being emotionally triggered
C. The feeling of confidence that surrounds my aura
D. Not fooling myself or others by my "hidden" actions but trying to be upfront in all I do.
E. When I see someone that has the possibility of setting me off tract, knowing that person is a real person with feelings, emotions and sense of being instead of just an object. This, however, has been a struggle for me.
F. Had two failures, but were one-time isolated occurences

_________________
I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
~Michael Jordan

_________________
I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
~Michael Jordan

_________________
I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
~Michael Jordan

_________________
I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
~Michael Jordan

_________________
I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
~Michael Jordan

_________________
I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
~Michael Jordan

_________________
I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
~Michael Jordan

_________________
I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
~Michael Jordan