Recovery Nation

Personal Development Forum
It is currently Thu May 06, 2021 2:23 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 11 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 2:00 am 
Offline
Recovery Coach (Admin)

Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:32 pm
Posts: 4572
The following vision is one workshop participant's effort. Note it not for the values--those are his values. Instead, focus on the depth and clarity that mark this as an effective, useful vision. When I read it, I can 'see' this man's identity. I can see how he intends to live his life...and I can see a life structure that is capable of sustaining meaning and fulfillment.

And if I can see it, I know that he can see it as well. Once such a clear vision is established, it becomes much easier to separate the addiction from that vision/identity.

One Man's Vision
Devotion is first. Devotion to myself through a relationship with God, who is in me. I donÂ’t know exactly what this means right now, but I think itÂ’s close to right.

Devotion to my wife and my family, but first to my wife. I choose to devote my life to her, to develop a level of depth and intimacy with her that knows no bounds. To build a family with her, a home (inside and out and the idea of home, too). To develop physical intimacy and knowledge of each her. To develop emotional intimacy and knowledge. To be vulnerable with her and provide space for her to be with me. To protect her and provide for her and support her and encourage her. To be unselfish with her (even in serving size ; ) To develop my own integrity in order to increase trust and the foundation of our relationship. To the pursuit of adventures together, through travel, building, growing, being active -- and some of these will be planned (long-term, even ; ) I will be devoted to giving her space -- both physical, as in a place to call hers, and emotional to pursue things outside of “us.Ââ€Â


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 9:23 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2011 9:41 am
Posts: 29
What has happened to this post? It seems all scrambled up...


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:03 pm 
Offline

Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:31 am
Posts: 331
I'm new to this site, and very grateful it exists, and so happy that people are actively trying to heal themselves, and in so doing, we can all help each other, i think. anyway, the scramble comes from, if i am not mistaken, a glitch in coding whereby the programme puts in some kind of code instead of proper punctuation marks, such as apostrophes and quote marks. I think to put in the styles, you highlight the text and then follow the prompts at the top of a post. Works for underlines anyway. but i dont know about the others. notice i left out the apostrophe in the last sentence? seems like one practical solution, hopefully moderators have more input on this.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 1:35 am 
Offline
General Coach (Admin)

Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2008 1:49 pm
Posts: 3961
This is from the system crash we experienced. You will see these on some of the older posts where we have not edited them yet.

:w:


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 10:05 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2011 9:41 am
Posts: 29
This seems like a essential post to the website - could you please fix it? Do you have decent backups of the website?

friendly greetings,

andy


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2011 7:40 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 8:17 am
Posts: 265
Quote:
One Man's Vision
Devotion is first. Devotion to myself through a relationship with God, who is in me. I don't know exactly what this means right now, but I think it's close to right.

Devotion to my wife and my family, but first to my wife. I choose to devote my life to her, to develop a level of depth and intimacy with her that knows no bounds. To build a family with her, a home (inside and out and the idea of home, too). To develop physical intimacy and knowledge of each her. To develop emotional intimacy and knowledge. To be vulnerable with her and provide space for her to be with me. To protect her and provide for her and support her and encourage her. To be unselfish with her (even in serving size ; ) To develop my own integrity in order to increase trust and the foundation of our relationship. To the pursuit of adventures together, through travel, building, growing, being active -- and some of these will be planned (long-term, even ; ) I will be devoted to giving her space -- both physical, as in a place to call hers, and emotional to pursue things outside of us.


It seems that this is how it should be! :g: :g:


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2015 9:12 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2015 12:16 pm
Posts: 10
Hi thank you for sharing! I'm new here as a partner of a recent sex addict. I just completed and posted on lesson 1 and proceeding towards lesson 2 and came across a link to this post here. This is really beautiful with such promise to hear the "want" in his tone as is a determining factor to his recovery and for his partner or wife. However, I feel what may be lacking, or perhaps I'm not understanding the point of this exercise yet, is what is his vision for him self a person individually outside of his relationships? In otherwords if he had to live without her would he place the same devotion and importance accountability to himself to his work and a healthier life in general?


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2015 12:26 am 
Offline
Recovery Coach

Joined: Tue May 27, 2008 10:26 am
Posts: 1806
I think you're over thinking it.

Coach Jon pulled this example from someone who was working the workshop with him, probably many years ago at this point. It just serves as an example to us to germinate seeds of thought for this exercise.

So many of us as addicts have never really looked at our lives before, either in the past tense, or present tense, and certainly not in the future tense, in terms of what we want our lives to look like in the future. Chances are, the man who wrote that had never considered what his life might be like without his partner. In a later lesson in the workshop, we are asked to do exactly that, but at this point in the workshop, (ie, Lesson #2) the important thing is to just get active sex addicts to get some ideas out there, and to try and get the guy to stretch just a little in his vision.

I don't think I answered your question directly, but I didn't read the question in the context that you were actually working Lesson #2, yourself. Did you have specific questions about the lesson as it applies to you?

Keep moving forward,
Tim


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2015 4:00 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2015 12:16 pm
Posts: 10
Hi Boundless
Thank you for your response. I understand and apologize to all if this was a misplaced post. I will definitely try the "both sides" posting if need be in the partner's community forum going forward. Be well!


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 11 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 12 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group